Our time with the “What is a Doula Series” is coming to a close. 

Here, I would like to offer you a little summary of the topics that contribute to how a doula encourages parents to feel “Capable of Anything,” when it comes to birth and immediately postpartum. Of course, if you want more in depth information on the topic, the corresponding blog posts and podcasts are available as well!

What is a Doula?

A trained support professional who specializes in birth (and sometimes postpartum too!), providing nonjudgmental guidance for parents through the childbirth process. 

Filling a gap in our society where the transition to parenthood has been very isolating, leaving parents feel adrift and often lost. 

Skilled and experienced in multiple facets of the childbearing years: doulas can provide education and support regarding pregnancy, laboring & birth, the early weeks postpartum, newborn care, breastfeeding, bonding, and a compassionate understanding of how difficult these transitions can be.

This support typically begins during pregnancy through the first hours after birth, or if you have hired them for your postpartum period; weeks after birth. 

During birth, the doula provides continuous uninterrupted support. This means they do not have a shift change where you will have someone you’ve never met come in during this special and personal time of birthing your baby. 

Preparing you during pregnancy by meeting you where you are at to help you develop your vision for birth and the steps to get there. This includes letting you know what your options are so you may make informed decisions that are best for you and your family. 

During labor, we draw on the preparations we made during pregnancy by using your preferred coping styles from the “tool kit” we developed together. This can range from hands-on physical support of hip squeezes to emotional support of affirmations and reassurance with many things in between. This is the beating heart of moment-to-moment support, moving with you where you are at and helping to guide you through intense moments when you need it most.

Allowing yourself the peace of mind that you and your partner have a grounded and calm rock to draw support from as needed. 

The FIVE Aspects of Support:

Informational Support 

What do you think of when you think of birth? Is it Rachel from Friends? Is it a dramatic breaking of the waters, rushing to the hospital with lots of yelling and screaming, ending with someone shouting “PUSH” and then baby is born? 

While a very common conception of birth, it’s rarely like this and absolutely does NOT need to be this way. 

During your prenatal period, your doula will meet you where you are at in your knowledge of birth. Providing suggestions for options and seeing which ones match up with your values for your birth experience. 

You’re prepared for variations and the unexpected. You have an idea of your values and decisions for certain choices that may come up such as your provider wanting to do an intervention like breaking your waters or starting you on synthetic oxytocin (Pit or Pitocin). 

Giving you the tools to make your own informed decisions for you and your family. 

Plus letting you know that, yes, you do have more options than aggressive yelling of “PUSH” while on your back in a hospital bed. You CAN labor out of bed. Move around, dance, walk, shower, bathtub and so on. You CAN push in more positions than on your back. You can squat, side lay, or hands and knees. 

You also have more choices than a hospital birth with obstetricians. There are hospitals with midwives, out of hospital birth centers with midwives, and home births. 

You have options and you deserve to be aware of them so you can make the informed choice that is best for you. 

Interpersonal Support

Otherwise known as Mediation. Which I prefer over Advocacy, because we want you to be your own advocate during birth. Your doula is not there to speak for you or decide for you. We want families to be empowered and encouraged to make their own informed decisions and voice them. This is a skill you will need throughout your child’s life.

Your doula won’t leave you hanging if words are hard though! 

Having already prepared a Birth Vision with you and your partner, we have a general idea of your preferences. Yes, these preferences can change as can the course of labor. 

With mediation, your doula can help give you and your partner more time to think over a sudden suggestion for an intervention before making a decision. Your doula can speak up with questions to prompt more information that you could use for those decisions. 

We are there to hold space with you, and protect that space. You should not be rushed into decisions (pending a true emergency, which is very rare) and you should be given the time alone with your support team (or solo if you prefer) to make decisions. 

You doula, as a mediator, is a buffer between you and other parts of your birth team. Making sure we all are on the same page and honoring your thoughts and feelings on how your birth goes. 

We bear witness to your birth, your experience, and your treatment. We support your decisions, and help to ensure you get the time and information you need to decide. 

Physical Support

Typically the post child of what a doula does is physical support. We know the tips and tricks to non-medicated pain relief and ways to encourage baby down and out. Masters of the Hip Squeeze and Counter Pressure, we love showing partners how to do these comfort measures as well. 

Anything to help you labor longer at home before going to your birth location to reduce the chances of interventions to “speed up” your labor. 

Then at birth, we are with you every step of the way. Adjusting from contraction surge to surge in what brings you the most relief. A continuous presence to give you that continuity of care throughout your childbirth process. 

There’s a reason continuous physical support is emphasized so much to expecting parents. Birth is a very physical process that requires dedicated attention and effort from your support team to help you move through the waves of this marathon.

While the tangible benefits of physical support are amazing, your doula draws from the other four types of support to give you a holistic approach to birth. 

Emotional Support

Beginning during the prenatals while we work on informational support, we are laying the groundwork for emotional support. We get to know you and your partner. Your preferences for how to cope and tap into any fears or concerns you may have. We want you to feel confident and capable when approaching birth. 

In tandem with physical support, the emotional support is right there with you during the nitty gritty of birth. Continuous, mindful, and grounded support that meets you where you are at. The shifts in mood and coping in labor often take parents by surprise, and having your doula there to guide and support you can make a huge difference. 

Holding space, your feelings are valid and so are your fears. Met with reassurance that you ARE doing well and that what you are feeling is normal. While your body may feel in danger, you are in fact safe. Your partner and I have your back, you are supported and cared for. 

Your doula’s role is to be emotionally present for you and your partner. On the surface this may not seem as useful as physical support, but the impact is huge. 

To feel seen, heard, and respected can help ensure you remember this experience with pride and satisfaction. Because you will remember your birth for years to come. Particularly the way you felt and how you were treated. 

Spiritual Support

Regardless of your faith or lack thereof, we are all human. We are inhabiting this birth space together. 

You are not alone. Millions of parents are going through these big feelings and transitions at the same time as you across the world.

Your doula is with you through this. Whether as a woman to woman connection or simply person to person

You are seen. You are heard. 

We are in this together. 

We can pray together, chant, dance, breathe, embrace. However this feeling of connection manifests for you, your doula can meet you there.

Birth is a significant life transition. It is transformative. It is a rite of passage.

This is NOT just another day for you. This is the day you meet your baby Earthside.

Your birth matters. 

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Often the role of a doula is confused with that of a Midwife. I would like to clarify how a doula is NOT a Midwife by what we do NOT do. 

What a Doula Does NOT Do:

Provide medical advice or diagnosis

Perform medical procedures

Act as a Midwife, OBGYN, or other health care provider

Act as a nanny, babysitter, or housekeeper

Make decisions for you or your family

Replace members of your family or support team

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In summary, your doula is a touchstone and guide throughout the birth process. We meet you where you are. Provide the tools you need to make your own informed decisions. Support those decisions, and help hold space for you and your birth. Providing continuity of care from pregnancy through to immediately after birth. We stand, squat, dance, sit with you, providing continuous, uninterrupted and nonjudgmental support. 

If your partner is present, we support them too. We work together as your team.

This is your birth, and how you feel and experience it matters. 

You matter. Your baby matters. Your birth matters. 

Is there anything you still want to know about doulas and how they can support you?

Until next time, I wish you all the best and happy birthing! 

JB

Blog | Website | Podcast | Instagram | Facebook | Linktr.ee/jbdoula/

What a doula does so you feel like “I am capable of anything” 

As mentioned in the previous blog, part of preparing you for birth is education of your options. This ranges from your choices in birth provider: midwife or obstetricians; where you plan to birth: home, birth center, or hospital; and the many ways that describe “how” you give birth. 

Each pregnancy and birth is unique, and with that so are the variations that can occur. Maybe you are considered “high risk” whether it be because of a preexisting health condition or the development of hypertension during the pregnancy. 

Your current situation impacts your options, but does not necessarily exclude you from your original birth vision. For example, just because you are pregnant with twins does not mean you cannot safely and confidently birth at home with a midwife. 

Twins?

Twins can be safely born at home. More information is needed before ruling out the possibility of a homebirth.

So understanding what your current health situation is can provide a foundation for your options (such as encouraging you to get second opinions and greater education on how x,y, or z impacts your choices in birth). 

There is also the very real aspect of financial or social factors. Maybe you want to have a home birth, but there simply isn’t a midwife nearby or you don’t feel totally comfortable with that option but still want that midwifery model of care. From there you can look into local midwife centers or hospitals that provide midwifery care. 

Your insurance might not be accepted at the hospital you would prefer to go to. While insurance itself can be finicky especially in regards to reimbursement for doulas or midwifery care at home, often even paying out of pocket for these services would still be cheaper than a hospital birth with poor coverage.

A doula helps sort through the feasible options with you, helping to refer you when possible if your current provider isn’t a good fit or you had no idea there were midwives accepting clients near you.

Have your best ideas in the bath? You might enjoy laboring in water!

Part of deciding on your birth provider or location is considering how you imagine your birth to be. 

Do you want pain medication? Are you afraid of needles? 

Do you want to be able to get up and move around? Does a shower or bath sound like the perfect way to cope with the surges during labor?

Do you want privacy or do you not mind medical students/residents/interns being present for exams and the birth? 

How about being able to eat what you want or go for walks outside? 

Do you feel more comfortable at home or in a hospital?

Exploring these preferences can help narrow down what sort of provider and birth location is best for you. From there we can dive deeper into those specific options with that provider and location. 

Such as, if you want an epidural you will need to be in a hospital rather than a birth center or at home.

When would you want that epidural?

How soon or late will a hospital administer it?

Do you want to try other coping techniques first such as a shower, bouncing on a birth ball, or hands on comfort like massage to where you are feeling the most tension?

Does your birth location allow a lower dose of the epidural so you can still move your legs and potentially get up at a certain point?

If you’re going to be bed confined throughout, what positions can you try to help move the baby down or relieve any lingering pain you may have? 

It’s ok to feel overwhelmed

There are a lot of potential options to consider and choices to make. Talking it through with your doula can help the process be more manageable.

While we cannot plan everything that will happen in a birth, we can prepare and educate as best we can so you feel comfortable with the process. By knowing your choices, and options within those choices, you will be able to feel like a participant in your health care. 

You aren’t just being swept from one intervention to the next with little time to ask questions as to the reasoning behind the provider’s choice and if there are other options. 

This way you have done some research ahead of time, you’re aware of your options pending emergency complications. And even then, you will have been prepared with your options as well, such as if you need an unexpected cesarean will your partner or doula be allowed in?

Will someone be with you while they administer the epidural or spinal?

Will the doctor talk you through the procedure so you still feel a part of the birth? 

Feel Capable

A little preparation can go a long way to feeling capable of rolling with the unexpected

Unexpected surprises can happen, it does not mean you have to be blindsided. 

Often a birthing person can feel overwhelmed and like they have no control when their provider starts suggesting interventions like Pitocin or a cesarean birth. Especially if there had been little warning before being prepared for these procedures. 

Next time, I will explore the doula’s role in giving you time and space to decide so you feel “capable of anything,” during your birth. 

Until then, I wish you all the best and happy birthing! 

JB

The long awaited moment is here!

While it may not have seemed all that long for those who just saw my announcement; it has been quite the minute for me. I’ve wanted to create this platform for honest open discussion, education and women supporting women for the last two years. I’m so grateful things have finally come together to make it a reality!

The heart of this is inspired by a desire to not only connect parents and their stories, but to also invite care providers to the table so we may work toward a more collaborative future in maternity care.

Birth Matters and I want to help encourage that positive change.

So, here is the first of many episodes to come! I hope you enjoy and if you’d like to share it with others I’d be so grateful!
Additionally, If you or someone you know would be interested in being on the podcast don’t hesitate to reach out! Socials linked below ~

Happy Birthing!

JB

2021 bringing forth new opportunities! 

Introducing the JB Doula Podcast. Launching both in audio podcast format and video compliment on Youtube. 

The JB Doula Podcast has been brewing in my mind for the last couple of years and I’m excited to bring it to life. I very much wanted a way to reach families in Western Pennsylvania on a more personal level to provide information, resources, and some familiarity with who I am and what I do. 

With conventions, gatherings, and talks still up in the air with the pandemic, I’ve finally decided to take the plunge into making a podcast.

Here I will explore topics such as what a doula is, does, and how they serve you as well as other informative topics like your options in birth. I’ll explore various aspects of womanhood, birth, and the childbearing years. There will also be interviews with care providers ranging from chiropractors to midwives and OBs as well as moms to share their birth stories and mom hacks. 

I’m also excited to have special episodes where mompreneurs can share their business success and promote what they do or their products. I very much want this to be a platform of honest discussion, education, and women supporting women.

If you’d like to share your birth story, mom hacks, or your services/products please don’t hesitate to reach out!

Until next time: 

I wish you all the best, and happy birthing!

JB

Emerging from the reclusive cocoon brought on by a pandemic, job change, and some much needed time to reprocess and recover; I am back. 

Though, to be fair, I continued to provide birth and postpartum support during this time, I simply needed a few moments (*ahem, months) to prepare some new and exciting aspects of JB Doula Services, LLC. 

First and foremost, allow me to reintroduce myself if you’re new to my site and content. I am Jessica Brown, a DONA International Certified Birth & Postpartum Doula serving families in South Western Pennsylvania. I’ll have additional content going deeper into what a doula is, and what doulas do for families. For brevity, I serve families as a non-medical support professional through major life transitions such as birth and the early weeks of the postpartum period when families adjust and parents find their footing. 

The job change I had in 2020 was leaving my full time job as an EMT on an ambulance, for a stay at home day job while I work on building my client base as a birth worker. This job shift, with the benefit of social distancing/isolation and more flexible hours for call offs to attend births and client needs, gave me the peace of mind to accept clients during a pandemic because I was no longer coming into direct contact with patients on the ambulance. While I am thankful for the learning opportunities I had as an EMT, I am grateful for the change of pace to focus more on birth and families rather than emergencies. 

What brought me to birth work, you might ask.

Women Supporting Women

The Red Tent Movement inspired by Anita Diamant’s novel ‘The Red Tent’

An eye opening experience among women at the Homercity Red Tent. Here I learned more about my body, and how it works than any of my public school health classes taught me. I remember being shocked and frustrated that I knew nothing about how my cycle actually worked, such as the variations in our discharge to the fact that hormonal birth control can negatively impact future fertility. It quickly became apparent that I did not know even a fraction of what I should as a woman about my own body. 

From there, I continued to learn more and had a growing interest in holistic women’s health. I personally decided to get off hormonal birth control and learn about charting my cycles as well as other factors that can affect fertility such as diet, exercise, and our emotional landscapes. 

Somewhere in that time of exploration of women’s health, I became more aware of the birth climate in the United States. Primarily the general lack of information such as when I was a teen being prescribed birth control (with no discussion of increased risk of blood clots, stroke, or infertility after discontinuing the pill). I became aware of the disparity in experiences women were having revolving around birth, where the typical theme was feeling like they had no say, control, choice, or power. Something that was a rite of passage and a major life event was being reduced to a medicalized, sterile, and isolating (even before a pandemic) procedure. 

That Moment When…

You realize you know practically nothing about how your body works

Already interested in finding a way to serve women and their health, I was guided toward midwifery. Primarily the out of hospital midwifery where women could have home births without fear. Surrounded in a familiar, comforting environment with people they loved. Unrushed, and literally at home in their surroundings. I immediately felt a connection with this renewal in community based, intuitive and family centered care. 

The more I researched the more I knew I wanted to be a home birth midwife. I desperately wanted to be a part of providing choice to women in my area. So those who wanted or needed a hospital birth could have that, while those who didn’t could more easily access a midwife. 

More midwives are emerging from various forms of training every day, but we still need more. Particularly for where I am in Westmoreland County (previously living in Indiana County), the closest midwife center (where you can birth not in a hospital but also not at home, a happy medium) was in Pittsburgh an hour or more away. Choice is frankly very limited, there are only so many midwives in this area who can only accept so many clients at a time. 

Inspired to be a part of greater change, I reached out to some of those local midwives to learn what I needed to do to get to that point. While recently out of college with a BA in Anthropology and Psychology, I was not financially in a position to apprentice with them. Turns out it’s hard finding a job that allows you to call off work for births and prenatals and still get those bills paid! 

So they recommended I look into becoming a doula as well as researching the possibility of becoming an EMT. One would get me more direct experience with birthing women to be sure this was the path I wanted to take (At that point I had not personally been to a birth nor had any children of my own, I just felt in my bones that this was what I needed to do). The other would teach me the fundamentals of patient care and lay a foundation for what I would need to learn to become a midwife.

2017 I started that doula journey, attending training for both birth and postpartum (I was ambitious and eager to learn). I’ll go more into depth about DONA International in a later post as well. There are tons of ways to become a doula, but this route is the one I am most familiar with and can give some insight into for those interested in learning more. 

Between 2017 and September 2020, there were many starts, stops, twists and turns to getting certified and starting my business while working full time. I am proud to say that I was able to finish all the requirements in that time and am officially certified! 

Now, spring of 2021, I am feeling that ambition again. To put in the work of educating those around me to the benefits of having a doula (for many in Western Pa who don’t live in Pittsburgh a “doula” is very much a foreign concept). To put the time in to secure more clients so I may focus full time on birth work as I have wanted to since 2017. To create art exploring the relationship between mothers and their babies, the birth process, and womanhood. And finally, to dedicate myself to self study in preparation to apprentice as a Traditional Midwife (Also known as Direct-Entry Midwifery). 

Officially an Ancient Art of Midwifery student!

There is absolutely a lot driving me further and further into the world of birth work. The art I create and the desire to serve others all point toward birth and families. 

I hope this gave you a little insight into who I am and the motivations behind becoming a doula. 

More to come in exploring these different aspects of birth work from what a doula does, your birth options, my art, and what I’ve learned along the way.

I wish you all the best, and happy birthing!

JB

Don’t you just love watching your baby grow? Especially as they progress from instinctually grasping your finger in their tiny hands to intentionally grabbing toys. As they begin to explore their ever growing world, you may have noticed the at first cute but quickly frustrating aspect of reaching to grab an object only to quickly drop it.

Learning to grasp, hold, let go, and eventual retrieval of dropped objects is a part of our young one’s development. However, it’s kind of hard to retrieve that dropped teething ring from the car floor isn’t it? Especially while driving down the increasingly crowded roads.

So here’s something new to help not only our little one’s out in practicing drop and retrieval skills, but also us in keeping teething rings, pacifiers, and other toys off the floor to be lost in the abyss of our cars. With the added bonus of keeping them clean for little mouths!

Buzz-Worthy Bemi from Little Bemi Co. Photo by @andriazutichphoto

This is the recently launched metal free clip created by Little Bemi Co. to keep those pacifiers, teething rings, and other toys safely off the floor and within reach.

I had the privilege of receiving a prototype to share with one of my clients. I got the above model, the Buzz-Worthy Bemi, and I love a lot of things about it.

From the soft fabric, cute bee design, and food grade silicone beads there is a lot to appreciate about their Bemis. If you’ve spent any time around infants, you know they explore with their mouths. Not having sharp metal clips within reach is definitely a bonus.

And as a doula that has had her fair share of spit up from happily fed babies, I appreciate an easy to clean accessory. Everything about the Bemi is washable and safe for little mouths, with adult supervision of course. I also really love that it is more than just for pacifiers. If the teething ring or toy has an enclosed circle to thread the loop through, you’re all set!

For moms, this checks off so many boxes from being cute, functional, easy to clean, and safe for baby (and baby’s cute outfits often distorted with tugged on metal clips).

The client I provided the Buzz-Worthy Bemi to doesn’t use pacifiers, so hasn’t utilized this yet, but her daughter has definitely reached the grab and drop stage! So I think we’ll be seeing more use out of this clever tool soon enough. I’ll be sure to share pictures when available.

Buzz-Worthy Bemi from Little Bemi Co. Photo by @andriazutichphoto

If you’re interested in learning more or trying this little bemi for yourself, check out their website littlebemi.com or check them out on Instagram @littlebemico

I hope you enjoyed this review, I’d love to do more in the future. Stay tuned for my soon to be released podcast JB Doula Podcast. There I’ll cover loads of topics including moms sharing their birth stories, mom hacks, and favorite products. I’m looking forward to the Clothe Diaper Episodes for sure!

Thanks for dropping by & Happy Birthing!

JB

You have just gone through an amazingly chaotic journey full of ups and downs. Your precious newborn is finally in your arms looking up at you with eyes full of serenity and wonder. You have given birth and are bursting at the seams to talk about your experience to anyone who will listen. You might have already told your story, sometimes multiple times, to the same people. 

Repetition and reliving moments in our lives is how we process monumental moments such as birth. It’s all a part of the process of uniting your past self, the experience, and your current self into one cohesive identity. This takes time. 

This sometimes takes a lot of time and countless retellings of your story. You may be worried that you’re annoying the people you love with how much you talk about it. You may think you shouldn’t feel this burning need to talk about your birth so much. 

I’m here to tell you that you absolutely should talk about it.

Your story does matter. 

I am here with a solution to any concerns you may have about how frequently you find yourself wanting to talk about it. 

When you find yourself talked out or that the post birth fog is finally starting to lift from your brain; it’s time to write your story. 

Now, I’m not saying it needs to be an epic novel of substantial length and magnitude! 

No, this can be as short or as long as you want (or are able to write with a newborn wiggling for attention).

If you’re thinking, “How on EARTH am I supposed to write something while round the clock feeding!?” In this case, the obstacle ends up being the solution.

In the previous blog post, “5 Must Haves When Creating Your Baby Feeding Nest,” I showed you what to have on hand during the multiple feedings of your newborn baby in these early weeks. I mentioned having a notepad and pen or your laptop in easy reach.

Here’s why.

With how often you are nestled into your feeding nest, you can very easily have a lot of time on your free hand. Once you get into your feeding groove that is. As you and baby get to know each other and learn how to feed together (this goes for breast or bottle feeding), this time can become very peaceful where you might begin to feel idle, restless or lonely. 

You now have the opportunity to record your story and flesh out all the details. This is especially helpful if you’re home alone with baby and really want to talk about the experience, but no one is available.

Here’s how you put your story to paper (or phone or laptop).

First, Jot down a list of as many details as you can remember.

This is a quick and simple breakdown of what happened from when and where you were as you felt the first contractions all the way through memorable moments in labor like how your partner kissed your forehead after a contraction. 

This will be the backbone of your story that you can fill in as you remember. Memory can still be pretty fuzzy in your postpartum period with a newborn. You may find yourself recalling something as detailed as what a nurse said and how it made you feel weeks or months after the birth and then for years to come. 

Second, Get that same list from your partner, care provider, and doula. 

You were doing really important work birthing your baby, and as a result you may find that chunks of your labor blurred together. You may not realize it until you compare notes with someone else who was there. 

Your birth team serves as crucial pieces of the puzzle to getting a clear picture of your birth story. Your partner has also gone through an immense life change and having their thoughts and feelings added to the story can make it feel like a birth of a family story you can share. 

Your care provider, whether that is a nurse at a hospital or a midwife at your home birth. They have a record of the exact time something happened such as your water breaking, cervical exam, or if any interventions were done. If you have the opportunity, ask your provider in advance to make a copy of these notes to share with you. 

Your birth doula. The doula has a particular advantage here. They have the benefit of being familiar enough with you to provide hands-on, ‘round-the-clock attentive support while also being an unbiased third party who can record the play by plays of your birth journey. 

Your own personalized birth story

I would begin recording details from the minute I get the call that you think you are in labor. I include the time, what is going on, how you’re feeling or something you said, what coping strategies you are trying, how many times you got up to pee (seems odd, but that counts as movement that shows you were working towards bringing your baby into this world!), as well as any interventions that were used and how you and your partner felt about them. 

More personalized and detailed than a nurse report, with the added benefit that I would sit down with you in person post birth to talk about the moments leading up to, during, and after the birth. You would get a printed or digital copy of these notes that you can then use as a reference for writing your full birth story. 

I will gladly listen to your story as many times as you need to tell it and help you fill in any gaps you encounter along the way. 

Third, Get creative

Get into as much or as little detail as you want. This is your story, write what matters to you. You can plan it to be a scrapbook story that includes photos from the birth and have baby’s footprints besides their birth date. 

Maybe you want to write the story for your baby, and you simplify it down like a children’s book you can read to your baby or to save in a special baby keepsake chest. 

Feel free to make it your memoir! If you find yourself writing like you climbed Mount Everest, lean into it! Your birth absolutely counts as monumental as scaling a mountain. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise are naysayers and you don’t need that negativity as you embrace parenthood. And that includes every kind of birth: Hospital, Home, Birth Center, medicated, unmedicated, in the woods, cesarean, water, and everything in between. Every birth matters. 

Perhaps you have a flair for fantasy, and want to add some magic like JRR Tolkein or JK Rowling. Go for it! Whatever way resonates with you is the way to do it.

If you still find yourself not feeling up to the task of writing you can always do an audio or visual recording of yourself talking about this experience while feeding your baby (if you have a laptop or a phone stand this just became hands free!).

Fourth, Set it aside if you need to

Parenthood is intense work! If you feel like you’ve got as many details down as you can remember and feel content, feel free to set it aside for now. You can polish it to a beautiful shine later after you’ve finally gotten more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. With those extensive notes, you will absolutely be able to come back to it weeks, months, or even years down the road to finish. 

Your story will be there whenever you are ready

Even if you weren’t able to get everything down, you will still remember your birth 20 years from now. The process of writing it relatively soon after birth is to help you record details you may be worried about forgetting. Or so you have something to go back to and read to say, “Wow, I really did that. That’s amazing.” Whatever your reason is, if it causes you more stress to try and do it now, it will be there whenever you’re ready. 

Fifth, Reach Out

There is a lot to process with a birth. Reliving and retelling might be triggering a lot of overwhelming feelings for you. These can be feelings of joy or trauma. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and swept up by recalling your birth, please do not hesitate to reach out. This could be to a close friend, doula, therapist, or doctor. These feelings are very real and can be a lot to process on your own.

You are not alone

You don’t have to struggle through this alone.

If you find you are in need of professional help or an impartial person to talk to there are resources on my references page to connect you to hotlines. If you’re already a member/client* you have access to the full list of local therapists and outreach should you need them. This list is frequently updated with new relevant resources or local services. 

I am also available to talk with or to connect you to the appropriate resources.

Six, Recruit an Assistant

By hiring me as your postpartum doula I am able to be your personal secretary and record your story as you tell it to me.

Just like your birth, you do not have to do this alone. If you want help processing and recording your birth journey into a story format I am more than happy to help. 

In life and parenthood, finding what works best for you is an ongoing process of trial and error. No matter how many books we read, advice we hear, or videos we watch; eventually it comes down to trying something and seeing what works. 

This holds true for feeding a newborn baby. Your feeding groove is simply whatever way of feeding your baby works best for both of you (you’re a team). This also is an ongoing process as you two learn together and as baby grows. What worked last week might not fly today. Triplely so if you’re tandem feeding, whether multiple newborns or your toddler and newborn. 

Here are 10 tips to help you and baby find your feeding groove

1.Redirect an On-the-Go Mindset

Slowing down, allowing yourself to rest, relax, and enjoy stillness while feeding your baby. Like any mindfulness practice; it takes time. 

2. Let it Go

That means dirty dishes, laundry, and other distractions. If you’re able, let that stuff go. If not; request or hire help to minimize the to-do list. 

3. Set Boundaries

Frequent visitors (the ones that overstay their welcome without offering to do a load of laundry). Anything or anyone else that adds more stress to your day. You and baby are working hard and you both don’t need that kind of negativity right now.

4. Be Patient With Yourself

You are doing an amazing job. Your baby loves you and is so lucky to have you. 

5. Phone a Friend

 Hearing from a good friend alleviates loneliness and bolsters confidence. Vent, brainstorm, or catch up.

6. Call in Back-Up

Still having difficulties achieving a comfortable latch or other feeding struggles? Call your local La Leche League International Leader for suggestions. Talk with an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) for more problem solving. 

7. Find Your Village

Meeting up with other breastfeeding moms at a La Leche League International meetup. Parenting groups online or in person. Parents from a childbirth class. Finding your people that are familiar with the journey you are on are priceless.

8. Hire a Doula

Perfect for the times when friends and family might be at work or live far away. Your doula is there for you and can help connect you with the resources you may need. 

9. When in Doubt, Try Again

That football hold your baby didn’t like 3 weeks ago? Try it now, they might find it more comfortable now. Cycle through tips and tricks to see if something works better now. 

10. Trust Your Gut

The more you learn about your baby, the easier it will be to find what works or identify if something might be wrong. Trust yourself and your instincts. You know your baby. 

What are some ways you’ve found your feeding groove? Share in the comments below!

Whether you are planning to breast or bottle feed your soon-to-be-newborn; the time spent feeding your little one is a prime opportunity for bonding. All too often, we expect to instantly know everything about our babies as soon as they are born, and drop seamlessly into parenthood. Only to have our expectations swept up from under us; leaving us scrambling to find our footing as we juggle the needs of this proverbial stranger in our homes. 

Even for the experienced parent, there are hiccups and surprises along the way when meeting our newborns. These frequent feeding needs of our babies, which can be overwhelming, turn out to be the key to finding our groove. 

Let’s gently redirect our on-the-go mindsets (that may be frustrated with the seemingly nonstop need to sit and feed our babies) to embrace this time to be still and learn about our little humans.

Whether breast or bottle, close contact (preferably skin to skin!) is crucial for bonding with your baby and helping them feel secure enough to thrive. To do this you’re going to need to have a space (or several) that you will go to with your baby while feeding. This spot is going to need to be comfortable! You will spend much of the first few weeks here.

Here are 5 must haves when setting up your feeding nest

1. Mamma Fuel!

That means bottles of water and durable snacks like granola bars. If you (or someone else) can prepare easy finger foods as well such as apples with nut butters or hummus and carrots; this will go a long way to keeping you fed so you can focus on feeding your baby. 

*Calories are more important than strict nutritional foods. Recovering from birth and lack of sleep are huge energy drains and you will need all the help you can get during these early weeks. So don’t sweat the pre-made foods or things pre-pregnancy you wouldn’t usually eat. Try to get plenty of protein, fiber, and water. 

2. Change of Clothes: For you and your baby

Accidents happen. You will become very acquainted with you and your baby’s various bodily fluids over the years, as well as the lesson of always having spare clothes/diapers/rags on hand. No one wants to sit in soggy, stinky clothes. Spare diapers for a quick change post feeding (or to help wake them up for a feeding) and a spare shirt for you can make the drowsy feeding turned nap time much more comfortable. 

3. Pillows!

Time to get comfy. Wherever your go-to feeding nest is, make it comfy.

 “Sleep while the baby sleeps,” is easier said than done for most parents, but rest while baby naps is much more manageable.

So kick your feet up, get those pillows where you need them so you can lean back and relax into the special feeding time. This could be beneath your arms and behind your back for lumbar support, the goal is to be as loose as possible. Release the tension.

As you and baby become better at feeding, you may find you need less pillows as time goes on. You may find out you can get comfortable almost anywhere! 

4.  A Sleep Belt

Or other soft baby wearing carriers loosened enough for baby to move their arms and head, but still secure enough not to slip down your tummy. 

These inventions have been life savers for many families. While the carriers are designed for hands free movement while up and about, the sleep belt is designed for upright, reclined naps without worrying about dropping your baby. 

Feeling drowsy during or after a feeding is common not just for babies, but for the parents holding them. So unless your feeding nest is in a Safe Sleep Seven bed, you absolutely want to take precautions to be able to rest your eyes without worrying about baby slipping in between cushions on the couch or armchair, or sliding out of your arms to the floor. 

A sleep belt (or loosened wrap carrier) lets baby be in the most comfortable and easy to breathe position on your chest post feeding. Rest their head in the middle of your chest in kissing distance with their bottom down towards your legs. Let them tuck up against you for a sleepy snuggle while you lean back and let gravity (and the sleep belt) keep them secure.

5. Personal Enjoyment

Some days we will spend the entire session marveling at our precious little ones while they snooze or look up with bright inquisitive eyes. Other times we may be restless and bored desperately seeking some diversion. 

In a basket, side pouch or drawer near your snacks and water: stash the TV remote, your phone & charger, a book, or anything else you can enjoy while resting with your baby. It’s okay to be bored sitting still for what seems like the hundredth time in one day. You can still make this time special and relaxing for you both by keeping things you enjoy nearby. 

If you’re looking for a little something extra, try adding a notepad & paper or your laptop. This is great for jotting down all those things that you think of, but end up forgetting once feeding is done. I’ll also go more into depth of what else this notepad can be used for in a future post titled, “How to Write Your Own Birth Story.”

BONUS!

A Special Basket for Siblings

Stillness while raising a toddler or other young children with a newborn can be laughable (or cryable depending on the day). With young children it can be really easy for them to feel left out, lonely, and downright offended that you aren’t paying as much undivided attention with them as you did before your newborn arrived. 

To help temper the tantrums and let your other children know you still love and care for them; have a special basket or box set aside with your feeding nest. They can choose something whenever you’re settling in for another feeding and they need some attention too.

You can have inexpensive or special toys (wrapped or not) to play with only when you’re feeding so they retain the novelty and help make the time special for them too. 

Another fun favorite are age appropriate movies for them to choose from to watch with you while you feed baby. You can have popcorn and tasty snacks ready as well. This can really help young children feel like they still have a place in your heart when they can snuggle up with you.  Along those lines, having a special blanket they can tuck themselves (or you!) with and maybe nap alongside of you can be really reassuring. 

It’s important to remember that even if your other children are acting out, this stems from a desire and need to be close with you. When a partner, friend, or grandparent isn’t available to give them one-on-one time; this basket can become a lifeline for you and your little ones. 

These were the 5 (and bonus!) things that can turn an overwhelming amount of feeding into a sweet sanctuary where you are comfortable and able to settle in with your newborn. In an upcoming post I will cover what the La Leche League International’s Safe Sleep Seven is and how you can implement more sleep into your life with a newborn. 

I hope that these suggestions bring a bit more ease into your postpartum period, and leave you with many tender moments with your newborn. 

Happy Bonding!

Happy New Years Eve!

Caution: No matter how pretty and sparkly, don’t drink glitter lol

Can you believe it’s almost 2020? That feels like something from a sci-fi movie and I half expect cars to fly or my dog to speak with a dapper accent. 

While I doubt that is going to happen (yet…) there has been more research coming out on drinking habits and their effects on pregnancy, fetal development, and breastfeeding. 

To take it back to the early 2000’s: I can recall from my high school health class being told explicitly that women who are pregnant or breastfeeding should never, and I mean NEVER, drink alcohol. That even one drink could endanger your growing baby to suffer from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Also, when you’re breastfeeding and you drink, it was akin to pouring that glass of wine directly into your newborn’s mouth. 

That’s scary stuff.

 I remember feeling really anxious even as a teenager about alcohol. Then as I started college and entering drinking culture, I became more aware of the timeline of conception and when someone might realize that they are pregnant. 

Often women who are not trying to get pregnant may not even be aware that they are until they miss their next period. This could be two weeks or even months if they typically don’t have regular cycles. 

Now introduce the fact that many women in their early twenties enjoy hanging out with friends and going to parties. Many of them enjoy drinking, whether it be one or two or binge drinking. 

Enter my fear of becoming pregnant unknowingly and then partaking in an enjoyable event and having a few drinks. I have had this fear response conditioned into me due to the research of the time from ten years ago. Anxious about accidentally harming my unborn baby when I’m not even trying to get pregnant. To be honest, it was an unnecessary amount of anxiety to have. 

Bringing it back to this upcoming new year of 2020, my fears around unplanned pregnancy and drinking have been assuaged. 

For one, I chart my cycles now so I’m much more aware of the time frame in which I can become pregnant. Partner that with consistent condom usage and I am confident in my ability to avoid an unplanned pregnancy. In a later post I will discuss more on the topic of fertility awareness and how it applies to anyone whether they are trying to get pregnant, trying to avoid it, or simply want to better understand their bodies. 

For two, whether you are eating or feeding for two, there has been more research that compares the effects of limited and heavy drinking during pregnancy. Before it was an all or nothing approach, which quite frankly is probably as effective as abstinence education in our youths. Again, a topic for another time. 

The research has begun to indicate little risk with an occasional drink. The high risk for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome have been most closely linked with alcoholics that are heavy drinkers most days while pregnant. 

“There is no evidence that an occasional drink is harmful. Women who drink heavily throughout pregnancy may have smaller babies with physical and mental handicaps. However, women who drink moderately may have babies with no more problems than those women who drink rarely or not at all.”

— The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists

As for our breastfeeding families there is similar evidence that shows the lack of harm when consuming alcohol in mindfully moderate amounts.

“Reasonable alcohol intake should not be discouraged at all. As is the case with most drugs, very little alcohol comes out in the milk. The mother can take some alcohol and continue breastfeeding as she normally does. Prohibiting alcohol is another way we make life unnecessarily restrictive for nursing mothers.”

— Dr. Jack Newman

Some Peace of Mind in 2020

I for one, am always looking for ways to make life easier for parents with newborns. From the point of conception until after your child is fully grown, there is so much on a parent’s plate in caring and making decisions for their family. To then add layer upon layer of prohibitions, and if you break a single one you are automatically a terrible parent, that is unfair and makes like unnecessarily difficult. 

So I am happy to say that here is one less thing to agonize over. 

For those who only drink occasionally and avoid binge drinking, you may toast with a glass in the spirit of the holidays with some peace of mind.

The general advice is to avoid alcohol. More specifically; avoid breastfeeding until 2-3 hours after drinking. 

The level of alcohol in your milk metabolizes at the same rate as your blood. So if you had one drink to toast at midnight on New Years Eve; then try to wait until at least 2 am for your baby’s next feeding. You can also avoid timing concerns by having pre pumped milk already thawed and ready if you plan on drinking tonight.  

Fed is Best

A common myth is that you can reduce the alcohol content in your milk faster by “pumping and dumping.” 

This is simply not true.

Just like drinking more water, coffee, or resting won’t sober you up any faster. 

Much of this will come down to how your body processes alcohol, if you ate, what your weight it, and how old your baby is in their ability to metabolize your milk right after having alcohol. 

When in doubt: if you’re sober enough to drive, you’re sober enough to breastfeed. 

Disclaimers

Alcoholism & Binge Drinking

Some Disclaimers for alcoholism and binge drinking:

This does not include binge drinking, drinking to the point of vomiting, or being intoxicated. Your milk’s alcohol content will be as high as your bloods: aka Too High! 

You will also be too impaired to safely feed or care for you baby, and it is recommended to have a sober adult attend to your child’s needs while you get sober. 

Never co-sleep after drinking: you will not be as responsive to sharing space with your baby. 

Alcohol can also reduce milk production, so if you’re already having trouble with maintaining your supply consider avoiding alcohol. 

As with all things regarding your body, your pregnancy, and your baby: use your best judgement for what works for you. 

If you ever feel overwhelmed by conflicting information and are having trouble with the anxiety that can come with expecting a baby; you can always abstain from participating. There are plenty of mocktail or sparkling cider options that feel festive without alcohol. 

Parenthood will consist of a lot of these decision making moments and sometimes you won’t have the time or the energy to drudge through Google to find out the answers to all of your burning questions. 

In these times I find it helpful to follow my gut. You can always change your mind later if more helpful information comes to light. Nothing is set in stone, and being a parent is already stressful enough as it is. So why make it harder by agonizing over a sea of “what if’s?” 

For me, if I’m still anxious and unsure which direction to go; it helps me to be on the safer side until I’ve had a chance to do my own research or consult with trusted individuals. This is how I approach difficult choices, but I also have struggled with anxiety for years. So these are the tools that work well for me. 

Through trial and error and often a good talk with your therapist; you too can find what tools work best for you in navigating the uncertainties of parenthood.

There will be links down below to helpful articles from sources such as the CDC, La Leche League, and Kelly Mom 

Contact me if you have any questions or are interested in being connected with resources in your area such as your local La Leche League or therapist. 

If you or someone you know struggles with alcoholism or substance abuse: See my resources page for more information. You can also contact me for a direct referral.

JB Doula Services wishes you and your loved ones a very happy New Year!

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https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/breastfeeding-special-circumstances/vaccinations-medications-drugs/alcohol.html

https://www.llli.org/breastfeeding-info/alcohol/

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1970/0557/files/0405-more-bf-myths.pdf?13823050296189251268%20--

https://kellymom.com/bf/can-i-breastfeed/lifestyle/alcohol/

https://www.alcoholproblemsandsolutions.org/fetal-alcohol-syndrome-fas/