The time of New Year's resolutions is upon us. With that comes crash diets and goals unfulfilled. 

Nothing like starting the year off with disappointment am I right?

Pessimism aside, it really is a popular time of year to make positive changes for yourself.

Last year, instead of one resolution like "lose 10 lbs" or "quit sugar" I joined my friend Jen in Gretchen Rubin’s 19 for 2019.

With this we each listed 19 things we wanted to accomplish, with an emphasis on actionable items rather than 19 goals. For me, it was difficult to not use overarching goals.

I'm an INFJ and love big picture future oriented focus. With that comes an absent mindedness for daily tasks and getting overwhelmed by wanting to do everything at once.

So the 20 for 2020 is helpful because you can break down a big goal like lose 10 lbs with the actions you want to take to get there like walking 20 minutes every day and eating vegetarian at least one night a week.

Here’s my 20 for 2020!

• 1 podcast a month JB doula

• 1 to 3 posts a week

• Meditation 5 minutes every morning

• Gratitude practice 3 things a day every morning

• Classics reading list!

• 1 networking meeting/orientation a month

• Spin bike /jog 3 days a week

• Lift weights 1 x a week

• 1 day hike a month

• Walk 20 for 2020

• Date night out/in once a month

• Cleanse !

• Attend 6 births

• Attend a home birth

• Provide postpartum care to 6 clients

• Podcast with Jen #thedynamicfeminine

• Move to a new rental

• Hold orientations for 4 businesses

• Join Indiana Chamber of Commerce

• Save $3600 for down deposit  ($300 a month)

My 20 for 2020 has a heavy focus on my business. JB Doula Services is still in it's infancy and needs attentive love and care to get off the ground. Many of my items are aimed towards keeping me on track to help my business grow and thrive.

Wellness is also important to me, physically and mentally, as a result a few of my points will also focus on ways to be healthier. I do want to lose that elusive 10 lbs from my freshman year of college along with fostering better habits for sustaining my mental health.

I want to be the best version of myself, and each year (or sometimes every few months) I take the time to reevaluate and readjust my approach.

I'd love to hear what your goals are for 2020 and if you're interested in joining me with a 20 for 2020 list! Comment below or shoot me an email and we can connect.

I'll be checking in periodically throughout the year to share how I'm progressing in staying on track.

If you want to learn more about the 20 for 2020 checkout Gretchen Rubin’s Happier podcast.

You can also join my friend Jen and I as we discuss our 20 for 2020 lists on our podcast The Dynamic Feminine. This is where we talk about all things womanhood and stardust.

Happy New Years Eve!

Caution: No matter how pretty and sparkly, don’t drink glitter lol

Can you believe it’s almost 2020? That feels like something from a sci-fi movie and I half expect cars to fly or my dog to speak with a dapper accent. 

While I doubt that is going to happen (yet…) there has been more research coming out on drinking habits and their effects on pregnancy, fetal development, and breastfeeding. 

To take it back to the early 2000’s: I can recall from my high school health class being told explicitly that women who are pregnant or breastfeeding should never, and I mean NEVER, drink alcohol. That even one drink could endanger your growing baby to suffer from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Also, when you’re breastfeeding and you drink, it was akin to pouring that glass of wine directly into your newborn’s mouth. 

That’s scary stuff.

 I remember feeling really anxious even as a teenager about alcohol. Then as I started college and entering drinking culture, I became more aware of the timeline of conception and when someone might realize that they are pregnant. 

Often women who are not trying to get pregnant may not even be aware that they are until they miss their next period. This could be two weeks or even months if they typically don’t have regular cycles. 

Now introduce the fact that many women in their early twenties enjoy hanging out with friends and going to parties. Many of them enjoy drinking, whether it be one or two or binge drinking. 

Enter my fear of becoming pregnant unknowingly and then partaking in an enjoyable event and having a few drinks. I have had this fear response conditioned into me due to the research of the time from ten years ago. Anxious about accidentally harming my unborn baby when I’m not even trying to get pregnant. To be honest, it was an unnecessary amount of anxiety to have. 

Bringing it back to this upcoming new year of 2020, my fears around unplanned pregnancy and drinking have been assuaged. 

For one, I chart my cycles now so I’m much more aware of the time frame in which I can become pregnant. Partner that with consistent condom usage and I am confident in my ability to avoid an unplanned pregnancy. In a later post I will discuss more on the topic of fertility awareness and how it applies to anyone whether they are trying to get pregnant, trying to avoid it, or simply want to better understand their bodies. 

For two, whether you are eating or feeding for two, there has been more research that compares the effects of limited and heavy drinking during pregnancy. Before it was an all or nothing approach, which quite frankly is probably as effective as abstinence education in our youths. Again, a topic for another time. 

The research has begun to indicate little risk with an occasional drink. The high risk for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome have been most closely linked with alcoholics that are heavy drinkers most days while pregnant. 

“There is no evidence that an occasional drink is harmful. Women who drink heavily throughout pregnancy may have smaller babies with physical and mental handicaps. However, women who drink moderately may have babies with no more problems than those women who drink rarely or not at all.”

— The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists

As for our breastfeeding families there is similar evidence that shows the lack of harm when consuming alcohol in mindfully moderate amounts.

“Reasonable alcohol intake should not be discouraged at all. As is the case with most drugs, very little alcohol comes out in the milk. The mother can take some alcohol and continue breastfeeding as she normally does. Prohibiting alcohol is another way we make life unnecessarily restrictive for nursing mothers.”

— Dr. Jack Newman

Some Peace of Mind in 2020

I for one, am always looking for ways to make life easier for parents with newborns. From the point of conception until after your child is fully grown, there is so much on a parent’s plate in caring and making decisions for their family. To then add layer upon layer of prohibitions, and if you break a single one you are automatically a terrible parent, that is unfair and makes like unnecessarily difficult. 

So I am happy to say that here is one less thing to agonize over. 

For those who only drink occasionally and avoid binge drinking, you may toast with a glass in the spirit of the holidays with some peace of mind.

The general advice is to avoid alcohol. More specifically; avoid breastfeeding until 2-3 hours after drinking. 

The level of alcohol in your milk metabolizes at the same rate as your blood. So if you had one drink to toast at midnight on New Years Eve; then try to wait until at least 2 am for your baby’s next feeding. You can also avoid timing concerns by having pre pumped milk already thawed and ready if you plan on drinking tonight.  

Fed is Best

A common myth is that you can reduce the alcohol content in your milk faster by “pumping and dumping.” 

This is simply not true.

Just like drinking more water, coffee, or resting won’t sober you up any faster. 

Much of this will come down to how your body processes alcohol, if you ate, what your weight it, and how old your baby is in their ability to metabolize your milk right after having alcohol. 

When in doubt: if you’re sober enough to drive, you’re sober enough to breastfeed. 

Disclaimers

Alcoholism & Binge Drinking

Some Disclaimers for alcoholism and binge drinking:

This does not include binge drinking, drinking to the point of vomiting, or being intoxicated. Your milk’s alcohol content will be as high as your bloods: aka Too High! 

You will also be too impaired to safely feed or care for you baby, and it is recommended to have a sober adult attend to your child’s needs while you get sober. 

Never co-sleep after drinking: you will not be as responsive to sharing space with your baby. 

Alcohol can also reduce milk production, so if you’re already having trouble with maintaining your supply consider avoiding alcohol. 

As with all things regarding your body, your pregnancy, and your baby: use your best judgement for what works for you. 

If you ever feel overwhelmed by conflicting information and are having trouble with the anxiety that can come with expecting a baby; you can always abstain from participating. There are plenty of mocktail or sparkling cider options that feel festive without alcohol. 

Parenthood will consist of a lot of these decision making moments and sometimes you won’t have the time or the energy to drudge through Google to find out the answers to all of your burning questions. 

In these times I find it helpful to follow my gut. You can always change your mind later if more helpful information comes to light. Nothing is set in stone, and being a parent is already stressful enough as it is. So why make it harder by agonizing over a sea of “what if’s?” 

For me, if I’m still anxious and unsure which direction to go; it helps me to be on the safer side until I’ve had a chance to do my own research or consult with trusted individuals. This is how I approach difficult choices, but I also have struggled with anxiety for years. So these are the tools that work well for me. 

Through trial and error and often a good talk with your therapist; you too can find what tools work best for you in navigating the uncertainties of parenthood.

There will be links down below to helpful articles from sources such as the CDC, La Leche League, and Kelly Mom 

Contact me if you have any questions or are interested in being connected with resources in your area such as your local La Leche League or therapist. 

If you or someone you know struggles with alcoholism or substance abuse: See my resources page for more information. You can also contact me for a direct referral.

JB Doula Services wishes you and your loved ones a very happy New Year!

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https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/breastfeeding-special-circumstances/vaccinations-medications-drugs/alcohol.html

https://www.llli.org/breastfeeding-info/alcohol/

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1970/0557/files/0405-more-bf-myths.pdf?13823050296189251268%20--

https://kellymom.com/bf/can-i-breastfeed/lifestyle/alcohol/

https://www.alcoholproblemsandsolutions.org/fetal-alcohol-syndrome-fas/

The holiday season is upon us. Which comes with mixed feelings galore.

I’ve attempted to write this particular post several times. Every time, I am reminded of how little I actually care about Thanksgiving. I don’t enjoy going home to my parents’ on holidays nor do I buy into the appeal of Black Friday. 

The holiday itself is founded on the subjugation of an entire population of people that we continue to do harm by allowing the contamination of water supplies. 

There is a lot revolving around this holiday that isn’t something I would want to be thankful for. 

I once heard that the more aware someone is of the world around them, the more likely they are to become depressed. 

I saw this with acute clarity in not only myself but in my peers while in college. Imagine an entire department of anthropology students desperately wanting to find ways to help the world, and learning more problems than feasible solutions. It was overwhelming, and years later I still struggle with depression and anxiety. Partly due to the conditions in our world, partly due to hereditary disposition mixed with a challenging childhood. 

There is plenty to be upset about. It shows in my writing, how easy it is to list all that is wrong.

What is harder, is finding things that I can be grateful for. A common symptom of depression is the ease in which we can focus on the negative while disregarding the positive.

That is why I am choosing to try and create a habit of gratitude.

Science has repeatedly shown that there are health benefits to practicing gratitude. 

Two of the most notable are the lowering of your blood pressure and reducing instances of rumination which is a hallmark symptom of depression. 

I’ve heard and read this in several articles, the power of gratitude, but I’ve struggled to implement it into my daily practices. Which is why, with the helpful reminders of “Thanksgiving,” I’m going to try once again. 

Knowing what can help you feel better is only part of the solution. Actually implementing these things that we hear, like “diet and exercise” or “gratitude” can be a real challenge. That’s why I am going to start with small, manageable gratitude goals.

Gratitude Journey

3 things. Once a day.

If you would like to join me in this gratitude practice journey, I will be writing 3 things I am grateful for and the reasons of why or how they happened every day until January 1st, 2020. Then I will be checking in, reevaluating, and writing my 20 for 2020 goals for the new year. 

Feel free to share what you’re grateful for in the comments below! 

What are you grateful for?

Share in comments here or at

JB Doula Services Facebook & Instagram

For those who also struggle with depression, anxiety, or other mental health related challenges; See the JB Doula Services Resources page for contact information of local hotlines.

If you are searching for a therapist in your area, feel free to contact me for a referral. Mental health awareness is important, and not just for postpartum depression.

Happy Thanksgiving 2019