Our time with the “What is a Doula Series” is coming to a close. 

Here, I would like to offer you a little summary of the topics that contribute to how a doula encourages parents to feel “Capable of Anything,” when it comes to birth and immediately postpartum. Of course, if you want more in depth information on the topic, the corresponding blog posts and podcasts are available as well!

What is a Doula?

A trained support professional who specializes in birth (and sometimes postpartum too!), providing nonjudgmental guidance for parents through the childbirth process. 

Filling a gap in our society where the transition to parenthood has been very isolating, leaving parents feel adrift and often lost. 

Skilled and experienced in multiple facets of the childbearing years: doulas can provide education and support regarding pregnancy, laboring & birth, the early weeks postpartum, newborn care, breastfeeding, bonding, and a compassionate understanding of how difficult these transitions can be.

This support typically begins during pregnancy through the first hours after birth, or if you have hired them for your postpartum period; weeks after birth. 

During birth, the doula provides continuous uninterrupted support. This means they do not have a shift change where you will have someone you’ve never met come in during this special and personal time of birthing your baby. 

Preparing you during pregnancy by meeting you where you are at to help you develop your vision for birth and the steps to get there. This includes letting you know what your options are so you may make informed decisions that are best for you and your family. 

During labor, we draw on the preparations we made during pregnancy by using your preferred coping styles from the “tool kit” we developed together. This can range from hands-on physical support of hip squeezes to emotional support of affirmations and reassurance with many things in between. This is the beating heart of moment-to-moment support, moving with you where you are at and helping to guide you through intense moments when you need it most.

Allowing yourself the peace of mind that you and your partner have a grounded and calm rock to draw support from as needed. 

The FIVE Aspects of Support:

Informational Support 

What do you think of when you think of birth? Is it Rachel from Friends? Is it a dramatic breaking of the waters, rushing to the hospital with lots of yelling and screaming, ending with someone shouting “PUSH” and then baby is born? 

While a very common conception of birth, it’s rarely like this and absolutely does NOT need to be this way. 

During your prenatal period, your doula will meet you where you are at in your knowledge of birth. Providing suggestions for options and seeing which ones match up with your values for your birth experience. 

You’re prepared for variations and the unexpected. You have an idea of your values and decisions for certain choices that may come up such as your provider wanting to do an intervention like breaking your waters or starting you on synthetic oxytocin (Pit or Pitocin). 

Giving you the tools to make your own informed decisions for you and your family. 

Plus letting you know that, yes, you do have more options than aggressive yelling of “PUSH” while on your back in a hospital bed. You CAN labor out of bed. Move around, dance, walk, shower, bathtub and so on. You CAN push in more positions than on your back. You can squat, side lay, or hands and knees. 

You also have more choices than a hospital birth with obstetricians. There are hospitals with midwives, out of hospital birth centers with midwives, and home births. 

You have options and you deserve to be aware of them so you can make the informed choice that is best for you. 

Interpersonal Support

Otherwise known as Mediation. Which I prefer over Advocacy, because we want you to be your own advocate during birth. Your doula is not there to speak for you or decide for you. We want families to be empowered and encouraged to make their own informed decisions and voice them. This is a skill you will need throughout your child’s life.

Your doula won’t leave you hanging if words are hard though! 

Having already prepared a Birth Vision with you and your partner, we have a general idea of your preferences. Yes, these preferences can change as can the course of labor. 

With mediation, your doula can help give you and your partner more time to think over a sudden suggestion for an intervention before making a decision. Your doula can speak up with questions to prompt more information that you could use for those decisions. 

We are there to hold space with you, and protect that space. You should not be rushed into decisions (pending a true emergency, which is very rare) and you should be given the time alone with your support team (or solo if you prefer) to make decisions. 

You doula, as a mediator, is a buffer between you and other parts of your birth team. Making sure we all are on the same page and honoring your thoughts and feelings on how your birth goes. 

We bear witness to your birth, your experience, and your treatment. We support your decisions, and help to ensure you get the time and information you need to decide. 

Physical Support

Typically the post child of what a doula does is physical support. We know the tips and tricks to non-medicated pain relief and ways to encourage baby down and out. Masters of the Hip Squeeze and Counter Pressure, we love showing partners how to do these comfort measures as well. 

Anything to help you labor longer at home before going to your birth location to reduce the chances of interventions to “speed up” your labor. 

Then at birth, we are with you every step of the way. Adjusting from contraction surge to surge in what brings you the most relief. A continuous presence to give you that continuity of care throughout your childbirth process. 

There’s a reason continuous physical support is emphasized so much to expecting parents. Birth is a very physical process that requires dedicated attention and effort from your support team to help you move through the waves of this marathon.

While the tangible benefits of physical support are amazing, your doula draws from the other four types of support to give you a holistic approach to birth. 

Emotional Support

Beginning during the prenatals while we work on informational support, we are laying the groundwork for emotional support. We get to know you and your partner. Your preferences for how to cope and tap into any fears or concerns you may have. We want you to feel confident and capable when approaching birth. 

In tandem with physical support, the emotional support is right there with you during the nitty gritty of birth. Continuous, mindful, and grounded support that meets you where you are at. The shifts in mood and coping in labor often take parents by surprise, and having your doula there to guide and support you can make a huge difference. 

Holding space, your feelings are valid and so are your fears. Met with reassurance that you ARE doing well and that what you are feeling is normal. While your body may feel in danger, you are in fact safe. Your partner and I have your back, you are supported and cared for. 

Your doula’s role is to be emotionally present for you and your partner. On the surface this may not seem as useful as physical support, but the impact is huge. 

To feel seen, heard, and respected can help ensure you remember this experience with pride and satisfaction. Because you will remember your birth for years to come. Particularly the way you felt and how you were treated. 

Spiritual Support

Regardless of your faith or lack thereof, we are all human. We are inhabiting this birth space together. 

You are not alone. Millions of parents are going through these big feelings and transitions at the same time as you across the world.

Your doula is with you through this. Whether as a woman to woman connection or simply person to person

You are seen. You are heard. 

We are in this together. 

We can pray together, chant, dance, breathe, embrace. However this feeling of connection manifests for you, your doula can meet you there.

Birth is a significant life transition. It is transformative. It is a rite of passage.

This is NOT just another day for you. This is the day you meet your baby Earthside.

Your birth matters. 

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Often the role of a doula is confused with that of a Midwife. I would like to clarify how a doula is NOT a Midwife by what we do NOT do. 

What a Doula Does NOT Do:

Provide medical advice or diagnosis

Perform medical procedures

Act as a Midwife, OBGYN, or other health care provider

Act as a nanny, babysitter, or housekeeper

Make decisions for you or your family

Replace members of your family or support team

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In summary, your doula is a touchstone and guide throughout the birth process. We meet you where you are. Provide the tools you need to make your own informed decisions. Support those decisions, and help hold space for you and your birth. Providing continuity of care from pregnancy through to immediately after birth. We stand, squat, dance, sit with you, providing continuous, uninterrupted and nonjudgmental support. 

If your partner is present, we support them too. We work together as your team.

This is your birth, and how you feel and experience it matters. 

You matter. Your baby matters. Your birth matters. 

Is there anything you still want to know about doulas and how they can support you?

Until next time, I wish you all the best and happy birthing! 

JB

Blog | Website | Podcast | Instagram | Facebook | Linktr.ee/jbdoula/

Don’t you just love watching your baby grow? Especially as they progress from instinctually grasping your finger in their tiny hands to intentionally grabbing toys. As they begin to explore their ever growing world, you may have noticed the at first cute but quickly frustrating aspect of reaching to grab an object only to quickly drop it.

Learning to grasp, hold, let go, and eventual retrieval of dropped objects is a part of our young one’s development. However, it’s kind of hard to retrieve that dropped teething ring from the car floor isn’t it? Especially while driving down the increasingly crowded roads.

So here’s something new to help not only our little one’s out in practicing drop and retrieval skills, but also us in keeping teething rings, pacifiers, and other toys off the floor to be lost in the abyss of our cars. With the added bonus of keeping them clean for little mouths!

Buzz-Worthy Bemi from Little Bemi Co. Photo by @andriazutichphoto

This is the recently launched metal free clip created by Little Bemi Co. to keep those pacifiers, teething rings, and other toys safely off the floor and within reach.

I had the privilege of receiving a prototype to share with one of my clients. I got the above model, the Buzz-Worthy Bemi, and I love a lot of things about it.

From the soft fabric, cute bee design, and food grade silicone beads there is a lot to appreciate about their Bemis. If you’ve spent any time around infants, you know they explore with their mouths. Not having sharp metal clips within reach is definitely a bonus.

And as a doula that has had her fair share of spit up from happily fed babies, I appreciate an easy to clean accessory. Everything about the Bemi is washable and safe for little mouths, with adult supervision of course. I also really love that it is more than just for pacifiers. If the teething ring or toy has an enclosed circle to thread the loop through, you’re all set!

For moms, this checks off so many boxes from being cute, functional, easy to clean, and safe for baby (and baby’s cute outfits often distorted with tugged on metal clips).

The client I provided the Buzz-Worthy Bemi to doesn’t use pacifiers, so hasn’t utilized this yet, but her daughter has definitely reached the grab and drop stage! So I think we’ll be seeing more use out of this clever tool soon enough. I’ll be sure to share pictures when available.

Buzz-Worthy Bemi from Little Bemi Co. Photo by @andriazutichphoto

If you’re interested in learning more or trying this little bemi for yourself, check out their website littlebemi.com or check them out on Instagram @littlebemico

I hope you enjoyed this review, I’d love to do more in the future. Stay tuned for my soon to be released podcast JB Doula Podcast. There I’ll cover loads of topics including moms sharing their birth stories, mom hacks, and favorite products. I’m looking forward to the Clothe Diaper Episodes for sure!

Thanks for dropping by & Happy Birthing!

JB

In life and parenthood, finding what works best for you is an ongoing process of trial and error. No matter how many books we read, advice we hear, or videos we watch; eventually it comes down to trying something and seeing what works. 

This holds true for feeding a newborn baby. Your feeding groove is simply whatever way of feeding your baby works best for both of you (you’re a team). This also is an ongoing process as you two learn together and as baby grows. What worked last week might not fly today. Triplely so if you’re tandem feeding, whether multiple newborns or your toddler and newborn. 

Here are 10 tips to help you and baby find your feeding groove

1.Redirect an On-the-Go Mindset

Slowing down, allowing yourself to rest, relax, and enjoy stillness while feeding your baby. Like any mindfulness practice; it takes time. 

2. Let it Go

That means dirty dishes, laundry, and other distractions. If you’re able, let that stuff go. If not; request or hire help to minimize the to-do list. 

3. Set Boundaries

Frequent visitors (the ones that overstay their welcome without offering to do a load of laundry). Anything or anyone else that adds more stress to your day. You and baby are working hard and you both don’t need that kind of negativity right now.

4. Be Patient With Yourself

You are doing an amazing job. Your baby loves you and is so lucky to have you. 

5. Phone a Friend

 Hearing from a good friend alleviates loneliness and bolsters confidence. Vent, brainstorm, or catch up.

6. Call in Back-Up

Still having difficulties achieving a comfortable latch or other feeding struggles? Call your local La Leche League International Leader for suggestions. Talk with an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) for more problem solving. 

7. Find Your Village

Meeting up with other breastfeeding moms at a La Leche League International meetup. Parenting groups online or in person. Parents from a childbirth class. Finding your people that are familiar with the journey you are on are priceless.

8. Hire a Doula

Perfect for the times when friends and family might be at work or live far away. Your doula is there for you and can help connect you with the resources you may need. 

9. When in Doubt, Try Again

That football hold your baby didn’t like 3 weeks ago? Try it now, they might find it more comfortable now. Cycle through tips and tricks to see if something works better now. 

10. Trust Your Gut

The more you learn about your baby, the easier it will be to find what works or identify if something might be wrong. Trust yourself and your instincts. You know your baby. 

What are some ways you’ve found your feeding groove? Share in the comments below!

Whether you are planning to breast or bottle feed your soon-to-be-newborn; the time spent feeding your little one is a prime opportunity for bonding. All too often, we expect to instantly know everything about our babies as soon as they are born, and drop seamlessly into parenthood. Only to have our expectations swept up from under us; leaving us scrambling to find our footing as we juggle the needs of this proverbial stranger in our homes. 

Even for the experienced parent, there are hiccups and surprises along the way when meeting our newborns. These frequent feeding needs of our babies, which can be overwhelming, turn out to be the key to finding our groove. 

Let’s gently redirect our on-the-go mindsets (that may be frustrated with the seemingly nonstop need to sit and feed our babies) to embrace this time to be still and learn about our little humans.

Whether breast or bottle, close contact (preferably skin to skin!) is crucial for bonding with your baby and helping them feel secure enough to thrive. To do this you’re going to need to have a space (or several) that you will go to with your baby while feeding. This spot is going to need to be comfortable! You will spend much of the first few weeks here.

Here are 5 must haves when setting up your feeding nest

1. Mamma Fuel!

That means bottles of water and durable snacks like granola bars. If you (or someone else) can prepare easy finger foods as well such as apples with nut butters or hummus and carrots; this will go a long way to keeping you fed so you can focus on feeding your baby. 

*Calories are more important than strict nutritional foods. Recovering from birth and lack of sleep are huge energy drains and you will need all the help you can get during these early weeks. So don’t sweat the pre-made foods or things pre-pregnancy you wouldn’t usually eat. Try to get plenty of protein, fiber, and water. 

2. Change of Clothes: For you and your baby

Accidents happen. You will become very acquainted with you and your baby’s various bodily fluids over the years, as well as the lesson of always having spare clothes/diapers/rags on hand. No one wants to sit in soggy, stinky clothes. Spare diapers for a quick change post feeding (or to help wake them up for a feeding) and a spare shirt for you can make the drowsy feeding turned nap time much more comfortable. 

3. Pillows!

Time to get comfy. Wherever your go-to feeding nest is, make it comfy.

 “Sleep while the baby sleeps,” is easier said than done for most parents, but rest while baby naps is much more manageable.

So kick your feet up, get those pillows where you need them so you can lean back and relax into the special feeding time. This could be beneath your arms and behind your back for lumbar support, the goal is to be as loose as possible. Release the tension.

As you and baby become better at feeding, you may find you need less pillows as time goes on. You may find out you can get comfortable almost anywhere! 

4.  A Sleep Belt

Or other soft baby wearing carriers loosened enough for baby to move their arms and head, but still secure enough not to slip down your tummy. 

These inventions have been life savers for many families. While the carriers are designed for hands free movement while up and about, the sleep belt is designed for upright, reclined naps without worrying about dropping your baby. 

Feeling drowsy during or after a feeding is common not just for babies, but for the parents holding them. So unless your feeding nest is in a Safe Sleep Seven bed, you absolutely want to take precautions to be able to rest your eyes without worrying about baby slipping in between cushions on the couch or armchair, or sliding out of your arms to the floor. 

A sleep belt (or loosened wrap carrier) lets baby be in the most comfortable and easy to breathe position on your chest post feeding. Rest their head in the middle of your chest in kissing distance with their bottom down towards your legs. Let them tuck up against you for a sleepy snuggle while you lean back and let gravity (and the sleep belt) keep them secure.

5. Personal Enjoyment

Some days we will spend the entire session marveling at our precious little ones while they snooze or look up with bright inquisitive eyes. Other times we may be restless and bored desperately seeking some diversion. 

In a basket, side pouch or drawer near your snacks and water: stash the TV remote, your phone & charger, a book, or anything else you can enjoy while resting with your baby. It’s okay to be bored sitting still for what seems like the hundredth time in one day. You can still make this time special and relaxing for you both by keeping things you enjoy nearby. 

If you’re looking for a little something extra, try adding a notepad & paper or your laptop. This is great for jotting down all those things that you think of, but end up forgetting once feeding is done. I’ll also go more into depth of what else this notepad can be used for in a future post titled, “How to Write Your Own Birth Story.”

BONUS!

A Special Basket for Siblings

Stillness while raising a toddler or other young children with a newborn can be laughable (or cryable depending on the day). With young children it can be really easy for them to feel left out, lonely, and downright offended that you aren’t paying as much undivided attention with them as you did before your newborn arrived. 

To help temper the tantrums and let your other children know you still love and care for them; have a special basket or box set aside with your feeding nest. They can choose something whenever you’re settling in for another feeding and they need some attention too.

You can have inexpensive or special toys (wrapped or not) to play with only when you’re feeding so they retain the novelty and help make the time special for them too. 

Another fun favorite are age appropriate movies for them to choose from to watch with you while you feed baby. You can have popcorn and tasty snacks ready as well. This can really help young children feel like they still have a place in your heart when they can snuggle up with you.  Along those lines, having a special blanket they can tuck themselves (or you!) with and maybe nap alongside of you can be really reassuring. 

It’s important to remember that even if your other children are acting out, this stems from a desire and need to be close with you. When a partner, friend, or grandparent isn’t available to give them one-on-one time; this basket can become a lifeline for you and your little ones. 

These were the 5 (and bonus!) things that can turn an overwhelming amount of feeding into a sweet sanctuary where you are comfortable and able to settle in with your newborn. In an upcoming post I will cover what the La Leche League International’s Safe Sleep Seven is and how you can implement more sleep into your life with a newborn. 

I hope that these suggestions bring a bit more ease into your postpartum period, and leave you with many tender moments with your newborn. 

Happy Bonding!

Happy New Years Eve!

Caution: No matter how pretty and sparkly, don’t drink glitter lol

Can you believe it’s almost 2020? That feels like something from a sci-fi movie and I half expect cars to fly or my dog to speak with a dapper accent. 

While I doubt that is going to happen (yet…) there has been more research coming out on drinking habits and their effects on pregnancy, fetal development, and breastfeeding. 

To take it back to the early 2000’s: I can recall from my high school health class being told explicitly that women who are pregnant or breastfeeding should never, and I mean NEVER, drink alcohol. That even one drink could endanger your growing baby to suffer from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Also, when you’re breastfeeding and you drink, it was akin to pouring that glass of wine directly into your newborn’s mouth. 

That’s scary stuff.

 I remember feeling really anxious even as a teenager about alcohol. Then as I started college and entering drinking culture, I became more aware of the timeline of conception and when someone might realize that they are pregnant. 

Often women who are not trying to get pregnant may not even be aware that they are until they miss their next period. This could be two weeks or even months if they typically don’t have regular cycles. 

Now introduce the fact that many women in their early twenties enjoy hanging out with friends and going to parties. Many of them enjoy drinking, whether it be one or two or binge drinking. 

Enter my fear of becoming pregnant unknowingly and then partaking in an enjoyable event and having a few drinks. I have had this fear response conditioned into me due to the research of the time from ten years ago. Anxious about accidentally harming my unborn baby when I’m not even trying to get pregnant. To be honest, it was an unnecessary amount of anxiety to have. 

Bringing it back to this upcoming new year of 2020, my fears around unplanned pregnancy and drinking have been assuaged. 

For one, I chart my cycles now so I’m much more aware of the time frame in which I can become pregnant. Partner that with consistent condom usage and I am confident in my ability to avoid an unplanned pregnancy. In a later post I will discuss more on the topic of fertility awareness and how it applies to anyone whether they are trying to get pregnant, trying to avoid it, or simply want to better understand their bodies. 

For two, whether you are eating or feeding for two, there has been more research that compares the effects of limited and heavy drinking during pregnancy. Before it was an all or nothing approach, which quite frankly is probably as effective as abstinence education in our youths. Again, a topic for another time. 

The research has begun to indicate little risk with an occasional drink. The high risk for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome have been most closely linked with alcoholics that are heavy drinkers most days while pregnant. 

“There is no evidence that an occasional drink is harmful. Women who drink heavily throughout pregnancy may have smaller babies with physical and mental handicaps. However, women who drink moderately may have babies with no more problems than those women who drink rarely or not at all.”

— The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists

As for our breastfeeding families there is similar evidence that shows the lack of harm when consuming alcohol in mindfully moderate amounts.

“Reasonable alcohol intake should not be discouraged at all. As is the case with most drugs, very little alcohol comes out in the milk. The mother can take some alcohol and continue breastfeeding as she normally does. Prohibiting alcohol is another way we make life unnecessarily restrictive for nursing mothers.”

— Dr. Jack Newman

Some Peace of Mind in 2020

I for one, am always looking for ways to make life easier for parents with newborns. From the point of conception until after your child is fully grown, there is so much on a parent’s plate in caring and making decisions for their family. To then add layer upon layer of prohibitions, and if you break a single one you are automatically a terrible parent, that is unfair and makes like unnecessarily difficult. 

So I am happy to say that here is one less thing to agonize over. 

For those who only drink occasionally and avoid binge drinking, you may toast with a glass in the spirit of the holidays with some peace of mind.

The general advice is to avoid alcohol. More specifically; avoid breastfeeding until 2-3 hours after drinking. 

The level of alcohol in your milk metabolizes at the same rate as your blood. So if you had one drink to toast at midnight on New Years Eve; then try to wait until at least 2 am for your baby’s next feeding. You can also avoid timing concerns by having pre pumped milk already thawed and ready if you plan on drinking tonight.  

Fed is Best

A common myth is that you can reduce the alcohol content in your milk faster by “pumping and dumping.” 

This is simply not true.

Just like drinking more water, coffee, or resting won’t sober you up any faster. 

Much of this will come down to how your body processes alcohol, if you ate, what your weight it, and how old your baby is in their ability to metabolize your milk right after having alcohol. 

When in doubt: if you’re sober enough to drive, you’re sober enough to breastfeed. 

Disclaimers

Alcoholism & Binge Drinking

Some Disclaimers for alcoholism and binge drinking:

This does not include binge drinking, drinking to the point of vomiting, or being intoxicated. Your milk’s alcohol content will be as high as your bloods: aka Too High! 

You will also be too impaired to safely feed or care for you baby, and it is recommended to have a sober adult attend to your child’s needs while you get sober. 

Never co-sleep after drinking: you will not be as responsive to sharing space with your baby. 

Alcohol can also reduce milk production, so if you’re already having trouble with maintaining your supply consider avoiding alcohol. 

As with all things regarding your body, your pregnancy, and your baby: use your best judgement for what works for you. 

If you ever feel overwhelmed by conflicting information and are having trouble with the anxiety that can come with expecting a baby; you can always abstain from participating. There are plenty of mocktail or sparkling cider options that feel festive without alcohol. 

Parenthood will consist of a lot of these decision making moments and sometimes you won’t have the time or the energy to drudge through Google to find out the answers to all of your burning questions. 

In these times I find it helpful to follow my gut. You can always change your mind later if more helpful information comes to light. Nothing is set in stone, and being a parent is already stressful enough as it is. So why make it harder by agonizing over a sea of “what if’s?” 

For me, if I’m still anxious and unsure which direction to go; it helps me to be on the safer side until I’ve had a chance to do my own research or consult with trusted individuals. This is how I approach difficult choices, but I also have struggled with anxiety for years. So these are the tools that work well for me. 

Through trial and error and often a good talk with your therapist; you too can find what tools work best for you in navigating the uncertainties of parenthood.

There will be links down below to helpful articles from sources such as the CDC, La Leche League, and Kelly Mom 

Contact me if you have any questions or are interested in being connected with resources in your area such as your local La Leche League or therapist. 

If you or someone you know struggles with alcoholism or substance abuse: See my resources page for more information. You can also contact me for a direct referral.

JB Doula Services wishes you and your loved ones a very happy New Year!

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https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/breastfeeding-special-circumstances/vaccinations-medications-drugs/alcohol.html

https://www.llli.org/breastfeeding-info/alcohol/

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1970/0557/files/0405-more-bf-myths.pdf?13823050296189251268%20--

https://kellymom.com/bf/can-i-breastfeed/lifestyle/alcohol/

https://www.alcoholproblemsandsolutions.org/fetal-alcohol-syndrome-fas/