Our time with the “What is a Doula Series” is coming to a close. 

Here, I would like to offer you a little summary of the topics that contribute to how a doula encourages parents to feel “Capable of Anything,” when it comes to birth and immediately postpartum. Of course, if you want more in depth information on the topic, the corresponding blog posts and podcasts are available as well!

What is a Doula?

A trained support professional who specializes in birth (and sometimes postpartum too!), providing nonjudgmental guidance for parents through the childbirth process. 

Filling a gap in our society where the transition to parenthood has been very isolating, leaving parents feel adrift and often lost. 

Skilled and experienced in multiple facets of the childbearing years: doulas can provide education and support regarding pregnancy, laboring & birth, the early weeks postpartum, newborn care, breastfeeding, bonding, and a compassionate understanding of how difficult these transitions can be.

This support typically begins during pregnancy through the first hours after birth, or if you have hired them for your postpartum period; weeks after birth. 

During birth, the doula provides continuous uninterrupted support. This means they do not have a shift change where you will have someone you’ve never met come in during this special and personal time of birthing your baby. 

Preparing you during pregnancy by meeting you where you are at to help you develop your vision for birth and the steps to get there. This includes letting you know what your options are so you may make informed decisions that are best for you and your family. 

During labor, we draw on the preparations we made during pregnancy by using your preferred coping styles from the “tool kit” we developed together. This can range from hands-on physical support of hip squeezes to emotional support of affirmations and reassurance with many things in between. This is the beating heart of moment-to-moment support, moving with you where you are at and helping to guide you through intense moments when you need it most.

Allowing yourself the peace of mind that you and your partner have a grounded and calm rock to draw support from as needed. 

The FIVE Aspects of Support:

Informational Support 

What do you think of when you think of birth? Is it Rachel from Friends? Is it a dramatic breaking of the waters, rushing to the hospital with lots of yelling and screaming, ending with someone shouting “PUSH” and then baby is born? 

While a very common conception of birth, it’s rarely like this and absolutely does NOT need to be this way. 

During your prenatal period, your doula will meet you where you are at in your knowledge of birth. Providing suggestions for options and seeing which ones match up with your values for your birth experience. 

You’re prepared for variations and the unexpected. You have an idea of your values and decisions for certain choices that may come up such as your provider wanting to do an intervention like breaking your waters or starting you on synthetic oxytocin (Pit or Pitocin). 

Giving you the tools to make your own informed decisions for you and your family. 

Plus letting you know that, yes, you do have more options than aggressive yelling of “PUSH” while on your back in a hospital bed. You CAN labor out of bed. Move around, dance, walk, shower, bathtub and so on. You CAN push in more positions than on your back. You can squat, side lay, or hands and knees. 

You also have more choices than a hospital birth with obstetricians. There are hospitals with midwives, out of hospital birth centers with midwives, and home births. 

You have options and you deserve to be aware of them so you can make the informed choice that is best for you. 

Interpersonal Support

Otherwise known as Mediation. Which I prefer over Advocacy, because we want you to be your own advocate during birth. Your doula is not there to speak for you or decide for you. We want families to be empowered and encouraged to make their own informed decisions and voice them. This is a skill you will need throughout your child’s life.

Your doula won’t leave you hanging if words are hard though! 

Having already prepared a Birth Vision with you and your partner, we have a general idea of your preferences. Yes, these preferences can change as can the course of labor. 

With mediation, your doula can help give you and your partner more time to think over a sudden suggestion for an intervention before making a decision. Your doula can speak up with questions to prompt more information that you could use for those decisions. 

We are there to hold space with you, and protect that space. You should not be rushed into decisions (pending a true emergency, which is very rare) and you should be given the time alone with your support team (or solo if you prefer) to make decisions. 

You doula, as a mediator, is a buffer between you and other parts of your birth team. Making sure we all are on the same page and honoring your thoughts and feelings on how your birth goes. 

We bear witness to your birth, your experience, and your treatment. We support your decisions, and help to ensure you get the time and information you need to decide. 

Physical Support

Typically the post child of what a doula does is physical support. We know the tips and tricks to non-medicated pain relief and ways to encourage baby down and out. Masters of the Hip Squeeze and Counter Pressure, we love showing partners how to do these comfort measures as well. 

Anything to help you labor longer at home before going to your birth location to reduce the chances of interventions to “speed up” your labor. 

Then at birth, we are with you every step of the way. Adjusting from contraction surge to surge in what brings you the most relief. A continuous presence to give you that continuity of care throughout your childbirth process. 

There’s a reason continuous physical support is emphasized so much to expecting parents. Birth is a very physical process that requires dedicated attention and effort from your support team to help you move through the waves of this marathon.

While the tangible benefits of physical support are amazing, your doula draws from the other four types of support to give you a holistic approach to birth. 

Emotional Support

Beginning during the prenatals while we work on informational support, we are laying the groundwork for emotional support. We get to know you and your partner. Your preferences for how to cope and tap into any fears or concerns you may have. We want you to feel confident and capable when approaching birth. 

In tandem with physical support, the emotional support is right there with you during the nitty gritty of birth. Continuous, mindful, and grounded support that meets you where you are at. The shifts in mood and coping in labor often take parents by surprise, and having your doula there to guide and support you can make a huge difference. 

Holding space, your feelings are valid and so are your fears. Met with reassurance that you ARE doing well and that what you are feeling is normal. While your body may feel in danger, you are in fact safe. Your partner and I have your back, you are supported and cared for. 

Your doula’s role is to be emotionally present for you and your partner. On the surface this may not seem as useful as physical support, but the impact is huge. 

To feel seen, heard, and respected can help ensure you remember this experience with pride and satisfaction. Because you will remember your birth for years to come. Particularly the way you felt and how you were treated. 

Spiritual Support

Regardless of your faith or lack thereof, we are all human. We are inhabiting this birth space together. 

You are not alone. Millions of parents are going through these big feelings and transitions at the same time as you across the world.

Your doula is with you through this. Whether as a woman to woman connection or simply person to person

You are seen. You are heard. 

We are in this together. 

We can pray together, chant, dance, breathe, embrace. However this feeling of connection manifests for you, your doula can meet you there.

Birth is a significant life transition. It is transformative. It is a rite of passage.

This is NOT just another day for you. This is the day you meet your baby Earthside.

Your birth matters. 

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Often the role of a doula is confused with that of a Midwife. I would like to clarify how a doula is NOT a Midwife by what we do NOT do. 

What a Doula Does NOT Do:

Provide medical advice or diagnosis

Perform medical procedures

Act as a Midwife, OBGYN, or other health care provider

Act as a nanny, babysitter, or housekeeper

Make decisions for you or your family

Replace members of your family or support team

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In summary, your doula is a touchstone and guide throughout the birth process. We meet you where you are. Provide the tools you need to make your own informed decisions. Support those decisions, and help hold space for you and your birth. Providing continuity of care from pregnancy through to immediately after birth. We stand, squat, dance, sit with you, providing continuous, uninterrupted and nonjudgmental support. 

If your partner is present, we support them too. We work together as your team.

This is your birth, and how you feel and experience it matters. 

You matter. Your baby matters. Your birth matters. 

Is there anything you still want to know about doulas and how they can support you?

Until next time, I wish you all the best and happy birthing! 

JB

Blog | Website | Podcast | Instagram | Facebook | Linktr.ee/jbdoula/

In previous posts I have mentioned the FIVE aspects of doula support : Information, Interpersonal, Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Support.

We’ve touched on the value of information in knowing your options prior to the start of labor. As well as how a doula’s superpower of Mediation & Time (your interpersonal support) tend to provide you better outcomes and overall experience during your birth.

The final three tend to flow with each other in a moment-to-moment type of support with each contraction and breath. Rarely do you have one without the others close by.

To give them some individual attention for clarity:

Physical Support can be anything from those Hip Squeezes I’ve mentioned to simply hugs, rubbing your back, or stroking your hair. Even just the physical presence of a support person throughout the entire birth process has been shown to alleviate birthing parent stress, fear, and pain. Often giving them a sense of confidence that extends to their partner!

Emotional Support can be affirmations and words of encouragement, holding space for your feelings (the good, bad, dramatic or subtle: your feelings and experiences are VALID). Physical support can easily share space with emotional support like a kiss to the forehead or stroking your hair. Something that can be deeply comforting for some birthing parents. Which leads me into the final aspect of support.

Spiritual Support can seem esoteric and misconstrued for our secular friends. This does not mean your doula and you have to share the same faith, if any. This is “simply” at it’s core the connection between people experiencing something together. Being present, open, and willing to be seen. Whether it is woman to woman or if both of you have had children before and any other combination in between:

We are all human and we are sharing this birth space together right now. We are in this together.

In order for a doula to tap into these three aspects of support; to truly be present and grounded during a birth she needs a great deal of TRUST.

Trust in the birth process. This allows a doula’s experience and knowledge to shine through.

Familiar with the various degrees of “normal” and confidence in you, your body and your baby’s ability to birth allows them to be a grounded and calm presence during a birth.

A parent’s touch stone for reassurance and guidance as needed. (That’s for both the birthing person and their partner!)

This confidence in the birth process allows a freedom to move into the space of hands-on physical support and to hold space emotionally. 

Let’s face it, when you’re feeling uncertain, anxious, or afraid; it is really hard to problem solve or sit within the present moment. Everything feels BIG and A LOT. 

For a doula, she can settle into that space of calm clarity because she trusts the process.

Your doula believes in you, your baby, and your body’s ability to birth.

Hiccups may happen along the way, and they are prepared for those too. Able to adjust course to provide the support you need for when you need it. 

That trust alleviates the fears and anxieties; allowing a clearer mind to help find what works best for you during a particular phase of labor. 

So what does that look like during birth?

Perhaps bouncing on the ball no longer brings the relief it did before. When something has been helping for so long, these changes can be a trigger for anxiety and uncertainty. 

Your doula knows it is absolutely normal for coping techniques during one phase of labor to not necessarily bring relief later on. And vice versa. Chatting to distract from the contraction surges may have helped during your early labor, but now as things get more intense you can’t stand the chit chat. And that’s okay!

A doula is tuned into the birthing person and their partner. They can read the room as well as feel out when something is no longer working. When you trust the process, it is easier to let go and try other options. Like leaning over the birth ball and seeing if it provides more relief instead of bouncing.

Little adjustments can make a huge difference. 

In the midst of labor and feelings of uncertainty, it can be difficult to realize a small change could help. Even trying to recall positions and coping techniques in the moment can be challenging during a birth.

The doula is well-versed in these little adjustments and has an extensive tool kit of things to try! 

One of the advantages of having a doula meet prenatally with you goes beyond the sharing of information and education, but also preparation of this tool kit. Finding what tends to work best for you when you are coping with stress or pain. 

Not everyone is touchy feely or feels reassured with words of affirmation. Exploring those preferences prior to labor helps develop this took kit specifically for you and your birth. Reducing how often a birthing person needs to be drawn away from “laborland” or their more primal brain that they need for birthing tends to make the birthing process easier. 

That’s why it’s so important to discuss options and practice coping techniques prenatally. 

Birth deserves the time and attention to prepare yourself and your partner beforehand so you both can sink into the moment-to-moment experience.

Having your doula there adds to that reassurance and relief that allows you to be present in the moment. Let your doula do the problem solving of suggesting different things to try. We trust in you and the process, and trying different methods and techniques is a part of that process. 

Future blogs and podcasts will go more into detail of the specific coping techniques. To give them their time to shine. In the meantime, you are always more than welcome to reach out to see how a doula could benefit you and your birth and postpartum experience.

Before that, our next installment of the What is a Doula Series is the Wrap Up! A lovely summary in one spot of the various topics of the series and clearing up an additional questions that may have come up along the way!

Until then, Happy Birthing!

JB

Last time we touched on the importance of knowledge and a doula’s role in providing the information you need to make informed decisions. Decisions made by you, for you, that are best for your family. 

This time, I’m uncovering an often overlooked superpower of a doula. 

Imagine breathing with each surge, riding the waves of intensity and relaxing into the ebb and flow. Your partner beside you, rubbing you back as your doula breathes with you while she massages your hands, arms, and legs. You have been working hard, and have finally found a sense of rhythm. 

Now enter your provider. You’re feeling a little disrupted, but your partner and doula are beside you to help maintain a semblance of the rhythm and ritual you had moments ago. Your doula knows laying on your back for a cervical exam can be uncomfortable and painful so she pays close attention to your changing needs. Providing continuous contact and massage to help relax you as much as possible between surges. 

You feel confident that surely you have progressed this time, it’s been a long labor so far, but you found your rhythm! This confidence shakes with the shake of your provider’s head. You’re “still” x- centimeters. They think you should be put on Pitocin (artificial Oxytocin used to increase the intensity of contractions). Suddenly you feel tight, discouraged and maybe even scared or frustrated. You thought you have been doing so well! (P.s. You definitely are! Don’t doubt that!)

For those who have birthed before or have already started having prenatals with your care providers, you have probably encountered this feeling. 

Often birthing parents and partners can feel swept up by “White Coat Syndrome” that goes beyond an increase in blood pressure brought on by anxiety. Many people, when told by a doctor or nurse that something needs to happen or that they are going to do something (to your body), feel pressured to go along with anything they say. Even if what they are suggesting does not need to happen as urgently as it may seem. 

For our example above, the provider thinks you are taking too long to dilate and progress. Many providers are taught that birth should follow a strict timeline, but that is only an average of how a birth can go. There are plenty of safe variations on either side of that average or what they deem “normal.” 

With any unexpected and often sudden suggestions of interventions is when a doula’s superpower shines. 

Rather than immediately prep you for Pitocin or an Epidural or a Cesarean, your doula can calmly (and respectfully) suggest giving the birthing parent (you) a few minutes to think it over. For any intervention that is suggested, you are allowed to have time to think about it and have the right to say no. The only time that time is not allowed is when it is a true life or death emergency and you’re unable to respond to give consent (this is implied consent). Which is rarely the case. More often than not, you have time to think and decide. 

Doula’s help keep TIME on your side

If you decide you would like to hold off on the Pitocin, your doula can suggest requesting a time limit with your provider. 30 minutes here or 60 minutes there to get up and walk around or try something new to move labor along. 

Time is your greatest resource during a birth.

The more time and space you can have, the easier and less pressured your birth experience will tend to be. 

Here, your doula does not speak for you in that they are not making decisions for you. They are there to act as a gentle buffer between you and feeling rushed or pressured. If it seems like your medical birth team is ignoring or acting against the choices you made for your Birth Vision, your doula can be more firm in protecting this space with you. 

Your Body Your Choice | Informed Consent & The Time To Make Decisions

You have the right to birth the way you want within the limits of safety to yourself and your baby. In the event of something like increasing blood pressure, fever, or other indicators something may be wrong, an intervention is likely necessary. 

However, pending a truly urgent matter, you have the right to know what is going on, to ask questions, to have a few minutes on your own (or with just your partner or doula) to process these changes, and to give your consent (or not). 

Just because something unexpected is happening, does not mean you lose autonomy. 

A doula is here to help mediate when communication is difficult between the birthing parent and her partner or her birth team. A doula is there to suggest privacy for you to think and decide. To provide you the option of time to try something different. To ask questions to clarify what the provider would like to do. To encourage communication between you and the provider, such as asking them to explain your options or why something is necessary. 

I care deeply for you, your choices, and your rights to a positive birth experience.

As a doula, I have the benefit of being a third party outside of the scope of the care provider and outside of the intimacy of your relationship or family. I care deeply for you, your choices, and your rights to a positive birth experience. However, I am not as emotionally embedded in this birth as you and your partner are. I can step back and see what is happening, reassure you things are progressing normally, and act as a calm third party mediator. 

This is a key strength to the doula. They care deeply while being able to remain calm and grounded during highly emotional moments. 

This is also why partners and doulas make a perfect team. Your partner has that deep emotional intimacy with you and your baby. They provide the love and familiarity you need. While a doula provides a touch stone when you need reassurance this is normal or to suggest a different coping technique. Having someone there as a constant source of support and information can allow partners the space to be a part of the birth as much as they are comfortable.

Partners are a crucial part of your birth team!

Next time I’ll dive deeper into how partners and doulas make a perfect team. As well as how a doula can help the partner during birth more than you might have thought. Partners need doulas too. I want both you and your partner to “feel capable of anything!” 

Until then, I wish you all the best and happy birthing! 

JB

What is a doula series: the basics.

So, you’re looking for a doula? Or perhaps you’ve just recently heard this odd term and want to learn more. 

You’re in luck, because this is the start of my “What is a doula” series where I will shed some light on what a doula is, does, how they benefit you, as well as other fun tips and tricks. 

Founded in tradition of women coming together to support the birthing person through a powerful rite of passage.

First off, “doula” was coined in the 1960s derived from the Greek word meaning “women who serve.” However, women have been serving each other in birth long before the 1960s, this was simply when women began pushing for more birth support. Particularly in areas where western medicine was prevalent, such as the United States. 

Women wanted birth to be less frightening, isolating, and overwhelming. Considering as a species, women typically were supported by a local midwife and women of their community usually a mix of family and friends. For countries driven by western medicine, this community based support was pushed further and further away. 

Connection & Community is a Cornerstone

From the 60s to today, we are generally pretty isolated from community and even family. It is common for a couple to marry and move across the state, country, or even overseas from their parents and grandparents. This distance plus needing to make new friends in your new home often leaves couples that are expecting their first or even fifth baby feeling alone and unsupported. 

When family and friends are too far away or too swamped with their own obligations (whether jobs or families of their own), a doula is available to fill in this gap. 

Living closely with multigenerational families is not always feasible, so that essential aspect of community support needs to come from somewhere to ease the transition of pregnancy to birth to parenthood. 

A doula provides that stability of availability, as well as education in the birthing process, newborn care, and breastfeeding. Often sharing local resources or information so the parents, who may have never been around newborns before, have a chance to become educated on the basics so they feel more confident in becoming parents. 

As well as providing education on your choices for your birth and in parenting so you can make your own informed decisions. Much like how I felt in regards to hormonal birth control by not being educated in the potential for health risks or prolonged infertility later in life, a similar tendency for not providing necessary information and education occurs in our maternal health care system. 

“Wait, I have options?!”

You don’t know what you don’t know, so how can you be expected to make informed choices on your health care? As consumers of our health care, which is how our medical system is set up, you have the right to know your options, to get second or fifth opinions on the right course of action. Just because one doctor or hospital says you cannot try for a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) does not mean it isn’t a safe and feasible option for you. It may mean you need to look into another care provider before accepting a scheduled cesarean. 

It is important for me to emphasize that as a doula, I do not have an agenda for what your birth should or should not look like beyond being your choice.

Whether you want a drug-free home birth to a planned cesarean, I am simply here to provide you with options, resources, and support so you feel confident in your informed decisions. 

Whatever your ideal birth looks like, I want to be there with you to help make that a reality. 

Sometimes twists and turns and unexpected hiccups happen. Part of my job is to help prepare you for those potential variations from your ideal vision of birth. Even if you fully intended and desired to have a drug-free birth, you may find yourself thirty hours in and exhausted. You may change your mind and decide medication to allow you to rest before it is time to push is the best option for you now that you have been laboring. 

And that is okay. 

I will help you try everything we can prior to that point, and support you if you change your mind. You know what is best for you and your baby and what your limits are. I can also reassure you that you can absolutely change your mind, but let’s have the nurse or midwife check you first. 

Sometimes all you need in that moment when you feel like you cannot do this anymore, is to be told that it’s almost time to push. Because many times when a mamma reaches that wall where they just cannot go on, it’s because their baby is about to be born. 

And other times, it is simply a long labor and you could absolutely use a rest for a couple of hours. Then when it is time to try getting up and encouraging that baby to move down and out you feel more capable and ready.

Every birth is different for every mamma, and I want to hold space for that uniqueness. 

Your birth matters, and so does your memory of it. I would like to honor that core aspect of birth with you. No matter what twists or turns may happen, I want you to feel at the end of the day and twenty years from now satisfaction with yourself and your birth experience. To leave you with a feeling of empowerment and pride that you did this awesome thing and feel like you are capable of anything. 

That’s what I want for you.

Next time, I will go more in depth into exactly what a doula does to help you have that feeling of “I am capable of anything.” 

Until then, I wish you all the best and happy birthing! 

JB