Our time with the “What is a Doula Series” is coming to a close. 

Here, I would like to offer you a little summary of the topics that contribute to how a doula encourages parents to feel “Capable of Anything,” when it comes to birth and immediately postpartum. Of course, if you want more in depth information on the topic, the corresponding blog posts and podcasts are available as well!

What is a Doula?

A trained support professional who specializes in birth (and sometimes postpartum too!), providing nonjudgmental guidance for parents through the childbirth process. 

Filling a gap in our society where the transition to parenthood has been very isolating, leaving parents feel adrift and often lost. 

Skilled and experienced in multiple facets of the childbearing years: doulas can provide education and support regarding pregnancy, laboring & birth, the early weeks postpartum, newborn care, breastfeeding, bonding, and a compassionate understanding of how difficult these transitions can be.

This support typically begins during pregnancy through the first hours after birth, or if you have hired them for your postpartum period; weeks after birth. 

During birth, the doula provides continuous uninterrupted support. This means they do not have a shift change where you will have someone you’ve never met come in during this special and personal time of birthing your baby. 

Preparing you during pregnancy by meeting you where you are at to help you develop your vision for birth and the steps to get there. This includes letting you know what your options are so you may make informed decisions that are best for you and your family. 

During labor, we draw on the preparations we made during pregnancy by using your preferred coping styles from the “tool kit” we developed together. This can range from hands-on physical support of hip squeezes to emotional support of affirmations and reassurance with many things in between. This is the beating heart of moment-to-moment support, moving with you where you are at and helping to guide you through intense moments when you need it most.

Allowing yourself the peace of mind that you and your partner have a grounded and calm rock to draw support from as needed. 

The FIVE Aspects of Support:

Informational Support 

What do you think of when you think of birth? Is it Rachel from Friends? Is it a dramatic breaking of the waters, rushing to the hospital with lots of yelling and screaming, ending with someone shouting “PUSH” and then baby is born? 

While a very common conception of birth, it’s rarely like this and absolutely does NOT need to be this way. 

During your prenatal period, your doula will meet you where you are at in your knowledge of birth. Providing suggestions for options and seeing which ones match up with your values for your birth experience. 

You’re prepared for variations and the unexpected. You have an idea of your values and decisions for certain choices that may come up such as your provider wanting to do an intervention like breaking your waters or starting you on synthetic oxytocin (Pit or Pitocin). 

Giving you the tools to make your own informed decisions for you and your family. 

Plus letting you know that, yes, you do have more options than aggressive yelling of “PUSH” while on your back in a hospital bed. You CAN labor out of bed. Move around, dance, walk, shower, bathtub and so on. You CAN push in more positions than on your back. You can squat, side lay, or hands and knees. 

You also have more choices than a hospital birth with obstetricians. There are hospitals with midwives, out of hospital birth centers with midwives, and home births. 

You have options and you deserve to be aware of them so you can make the informed choice that is best for you. 

Interpersonal Support

Otherwise known as Mediation. Which I prefer over Advocacy, because we want you to be your own advocate during birth. Your doula is not there to speak for you or decide for you. We want families to be empowered and encouraged to make their own informed decisions and voice them. This is a skill you will need throughout your child’s life.

Your doula won’t leave you hanging if words are hard though! 

Having already prepared a Birth Vision with you and your partner, we have a general idea of your preferences. Yes, these preferences can change as can the course of labor. 

With mediation, your doula can help give you and your partner more time to think over a sudden suggestion for an intervention before making a decision. Your doula can speak up with questions to prompt more information that you could use for those decisions. 

We are there to hold space with you, and protect that space. You should not be rushed into decisions (pending a true emergency, which is very rare) and you should be given the time alone with your support team (or solo if you prefer) to make decisions. 

You doula, as a mediator, is a buffer between you and other parts of your birth team. Making sure we all are on the same page and honoring your thoughts and feelings on how your birth goes. 

We bear witness to your birth, your experience, and your treatment. We support your decisions, and help to ensure you get the time and information you need to decide. 

Physical Support

Typically the post child of what a doula does is physical support. We know the tips and tricks to non-medicated pain relief and ways to encourage baby down and out. Masters of the Hip Squeeze and Counter Pressure, we love showing partners how to do these comfort measures as well. 

Anything to help you labor longer at home before going to your birth location to reduce the chances of interventions to “speed up” your labor. 

Then at birth, we are with you every step of the way. Adjusting from contraction surge to surge in what brings you the most relief. A continuous presence to give you that continuity of care throughout your childbirth process. 

There’s a reason continuous physical support is emphasized so much to expecting parents. Birth is a very physical process that requires dedicated attention and effort from your support team to help you move through the waves of this marathon.

While the tangible benefits of physical support are amazing, your doula draws from the other four types of support to give you a holistic approach to birth. 

Emotional Support

Beginning during the prenatals while we work on informational support, we are laying the groundwork for emotional support. We get to know you and your partner. Your preferences for how to cope and tap into any fears or concerns you may have. We want you to feel confident and capable when approaching birth. 

In tandem with physical support, the emotional support is right there with you during the nitty gritty of birth. Continuous, mindful, and grounded support that meets you where you are at. The shifts in mood and coping in labor often take parents by surprise, and having your doula there to guide and support you can make a huge difference. 

Holding space, your feelings are valid and so are your fears. Met with reassurance that you ARE doing well and that what you are feeling is normal. While your body may feel in danger, you are in fact safe. Your partner and I have your back, you are supported and cared for. 

Your doula’s role is to be emotionally present for you and your partner. On the surface this may not seem as useful as physical support, but the impact is huge. 

To feel seen, heard, and respected can help ensure you remember this experience with pride and satisfaction. Because you will remember your birth for years to come. Particularly the way you felt and how you were treated. 

Spiritual Support

Regardless of your faith or lack thereof, we are all human. We are inhabiting this birth space together. 

You are not alone. Millions of parents are going through these big feelings and transitions at the same time as you across the world.

Your doula is with you through this. Whether as a woman to woman connection or simply person to person

You are seen. You are heard. 

We are in this together. 

We can pray together, chant, dance, breathe, embrace. However this feeling of connection manifests for you, your doula can meet you there.

Birth is a significant life transition. It is transformative. It is a rite of passage.

This is NOT just another day for you. This is the day you meet your baby Earthside.

Your birth matters. 

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Often the role of a doula is confused with that of a Midwife. I would like to clarify how a doula is NOT a Midwife by what we do NOT do. 

What a Doula Does NOT Do:

Provide medical advice or diagnosis

Perform medical procedures

Act as a Midwife, OBGYN, or other health care provider

Act as a nanny, babysitter, or housekeeper

Make decisions for you or your family

Replace members of your family or support team

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In summary, your doula is a touchstone and guide throughout the birth process. We meet you where you are. Provide the tools you need to make your own informed decisions. Support those decisions, and help hold space for you and your birth. Providing continuity of care from pregnancy through to immediately after birth. We stand, squat, dance, sit with you, providing continuous, uninterrupted and nonjudgmental support. 

If your partner is present, we support them too. We work together as your team.

This is your birth, and how you feel and experience it matters. 

You matter. Your baby matters. Your birth matters. 

Is there anything you still want to know about doulas and how they can support you?

Until next time, I wish you all the best and happy birthing! 

JB

Blog | Website | Podcast | Instagram | Facebook | Linktr.ee/jbdoula/

In previous posts I have mentioned the FIVE aspects of doula support : Information, Interpersonal, Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Support.

We’ve touched on the value of information in knowing your options prior to the start of labor. As well as how a doula’s superpower of Mediation & Time (your interpersonal support) tend to provide you better outcomes and overall experience during your birth.

The final three tend to flow with each other in a moment-to-moment type of support with each contraction and breath. Rarely do you have one without the others close by.

To give them some individual attention for clarity:

Physical Support can be anything from those Hip Squeezes I’ve mentioned to simply hugs, rubbing your back, or stroking your hair. Even just the physical presence of a support person throughout the entire birth process has been shown to alleviate birthing parent stress, fear, and pain. Often giving them a sense of confidence that extends to their partner!

Emotional Support can be affirmations and words of encouragement, holding space for your feelings (the good, bad, dramatic or subtle: your feelings and experiences are VALID). Physical support can easily share space with emotional support like a kiss to the forehead or stroking your hair. Something that can be deeply comforting for some birthing parents. Which leads me into the final aspect of support.

Spiritual Support can seem esoteric and misconstrued for our secular friends. This does not mean your doula and you have to share the same faith, if any. This is “simply” at it’s core the connection between people experiencing something together. Being present, open, and willing to be seen. Whether it is woman to woman or if both of you have had children before and any other combination in between:

We are all human and we are sharing this birth space together right now. We are in this together.

In order for a doula to tap into these three aspects of support; to truly be present and grounded during a birth she needs a great deal of TRUST.

Trust in the birth process. This allows a doula’s experience and knowledge to shine through.

Familiar with the various degrees of “normal” and confidence in you, your body and your baby’s ability to birth allows them to be a grounded and calm presence during a birth.

A parent’s touch stone for reassurance and guidance as needed. (That’s for both the birthing person and their partner!)

This confidence in the birth process allows a freedom to move into the space of hands-on physical support and to hold space emotionally. 

Let’s face it, when you’re feeling uncertain, anxious, or afraid; it is really hard to problem solve or sit within the present moment. Everything feels BIG and A LOT. 

For a doula, she can settle into that space of calm clarity because she trusts the process.

Your doula believes in you, your baby, and your body’s ability to birth.

Hiccups may happen along the way, and they are prepared for those too. Able to adjust course to provide the support you need for when you need it. 

That trust alleviates the fears and anxieties; allowing a clearer mind to help find what works best for you during a particular phase of labor. 

So what does that look like during birth?

Perhaps bouncing on the ball no longer brings the relief it did before. When something has been helping for so long, these changes can be a trigger for anxiety and uncertainty. 

Your doula knows it is absolutely normal for coping techniques during one phase of labor to not necessarily bring relief later on. And vice versa. Chatting to distract from the contraction surges may have helped during your early labor, but now as things get more intense you can’t stand the chit chat. And that’s okay!

A doula is tuned into the birthing person and their partner. They can read the room as well as feel out when something is no longer working. When you trust the process, it is easier to let go and try other options. Like leaning over the birth ball and seeing if it provides more relief instead of bouncing.

Little adjustments can make a huge difference. 

In the midst of labor and feelings of uncertainty, it can be difficult to realize a small change could help. Even trying to recall positions and coping techniques in the moment can be challenging during a birth.

The doula is well-versed in these little adjustments and has an extensive tool kit of things to try! 

One of the advantages of having a doula meet prenatally with you goes beyond the sharing of information and education, but also preparation of this tool kit. Finding what tends to work best for you when you are coping with stress or pain. 

Not everyone is touchy feely or feels reassured with words of affirmation. Exploring those preferences prior to labor helps develop this took kit specifically for you and your birth. Reducing how often a birthing person needs to be drawn away from “laborland” or their more primal brain that they need for birthing tends to make the birthing process easier. 

That’s why it’s so important to discuss options and practice coping techniques prenatally. 

Birth deserves the time and attention to prepare yourself and your partner beforehand so you both can sink into the moment-to-moment experience.

Having your doula there adds to that reassurance and relief that allows you to be present in the moment. Let your doula do the problem solving of suggesting different things to try. We trust in you and the process, and trying different methods and techniques is a part of that process. 

Future blogs and podcasts will go more into detail of the specific coping techniques. To give them their time to shine. In the meantime, you are always more than welcome to reach out to see how a doula could benefit you and your birth and postpartum experience.

Before that, our next installment of the What is a Doula Series is the Wrap Up! A lovely summary in one spot of the various topics of the series and clearing up an additional questions that may have come up along the way!

Until then, Happy Birthing!

JB

We’ve entered a curious time where partners are expected to be in the birthing space with their birthing partners, to attend childbirth classes and serve as their partner’s birth coach and cheerleader. Not to mention welcoming their new baby and being emotionally present!

So when a doula enters the mix, knowledgeable in birth and often confused with a birth coach, it can leave partners wondering what their role is during birth. 

A common feeling partners can have is that the doula “replaces” them in the birth room. This is simply not true. 

Here I would like to air out some misconceptions about partners & doulas as well as share how a doula can help the partner too! 

Most importantly, a doula NEVER replaces a partner in the birth space. (Early COVID hospital protocols aside. That’s a WHOLE other topic). As a partner, you bring something to the birth that a doula simply cannot. 

Personal history, love, and intimate connection. 

This intimacy is something a doula does not provide, nor tries to! This is something wholly special and necessary that the partner can provide. 

With this perspective, the doula takes on more of the responsibility of the “birth coach” or I prefer the “birth guide.” The doula holds extensive knowledge on the birth process and often can be seen as a touchstone for the parents to reassure that “yes, this is normal. You’re both doing great.”

Let’s face it. It’s hard watching a loved one struggle and experience pain that you cannot fix for them. Partners tend to be doers and birthing can leave them feeling off balance and overwhelmed. 

You can't give birth for your partner! 

What you can do is be as present and supportive and loving as possible. This is different for everyone and every couple. Some partners are excited and more than ready to get in the trenches of emotion and provide hands on support to their birthing partner. Others are unsure what to do and also feel overwhelmed that their partner will be giving birth to their baby soon!

It’s hard to be present and supportive if you yourself need some support. And that’s okay!

Here is where a doula shines with partners. For the more involved partners, doulas can give gentle suggestions of where to place hands or when to try something new to keep that “Gate Theory” as effective as possible for the birthing partner. With this partner, a doula will typically work in tandem to support the birthing partner. 

Having the birthing person face their partner and leaning on them to slow dance while the doula provides hip squeezes or back massage. For when they are handling things beautifully on their own, a doula can step back to give them space to find their groove and offer suggestions or answer questions as they come up. She fills in the gaps and builds on what the partner is already bringing to the table. 

For the more anxious and unsure partners, the doula may do a lot more of the heavy lifting so to speak with the hands on and emotional support. Giving the partner space to center themselves and encouraging them, when they are ready, where to place their hands or suggesting special moments of hugs, kisses and encouragement. 

This partner might need to be able to step out of the space to gather themselves or extra time to adapt to the intensity of birth before joining in when their partner needs them most. 

A partner has personal history, love, and intimacy that a doula would not try to replicate. This is something wonderfully yours between the two of you.

With both of these types of partners (and the many in between), the doula is a constant. Either partner can step away for a bathroom break, coffee, or fresh air without being worried (or feeling guilty) about leaving their partner alone. With a doula, their partner will always have someone by their side. 

The doula meets these partners and couples where they are at. During prenatals they’ll gauge knowledge, comfort levels, and both parents’ desires for the birth. That way each birth is tailored to each couple and every birth is unique. A doula flows to fill and support spots that need extra attention and help guide both parents on the journey should they want it. 

There is reassurance that everything is okay based on her knowledge. 

There is comfort in knowing that the birthing partner will have continuous support between the two of you. 

There is peace of mind when working with a doula who guides you through not only the birthing person’s experience of birth but the partner’s as well.

A family centered moment. 

There is confidence from practicing skills with a doula and using them together to support your birthing partner. Like with any sport, practice is key for muscle memory and confidence! 

Are you a partner and concerned about your role during birth with a doula present? Reach out and let’s explore some ways to work together so this birth experience is memorable for both you and your birthing partner. 

Next time I’ll elaborate on how doula’s being the experts in “normal,” translates to intuitive support during labor and birth. 

Until then, Happy Birthing!

JB

What a doula does so you feel like “I am capable of anything” 

As mentioned in the previous blog, part of preparing you for birth is education of your options. This ranges from your choices in birth provider: midwife or obstetricians; where you plan to birth: home, birth center, or hospital; and the many ways that describe “how” you give birth. 

Each pregnancy and birth is unique, and with that so are the variations that can occur. Maybe you are considered “high risk” whether it be because of a preexisting health condition or the development of hypertension during the pregnancy. 

Your current situation impacts your options, but does not necessarily exclude you from your original birth vision. For example, just because you are pregnant with twins does not mean you cannot safely and confidently birth at home with a midwife. 

Twins?

Twins can be safely born at home. More information is needed before ruling out the possibility of a homebirth.

So understanding what your current health situation is can provide a foundation for your options (such as encouraging you to get second opinions and greater education on how x,y, or z impacts your choices in birth). 

There is also the very real aspect of financial or social factors. Maybe you want to have a home birth, but there simply isn’t a midwife nearby or you don’t feel totally comfortable with that option but still want that midwifery model of care. From there you can look into local midwife centers or hospitals that provide midwifery care. 

Your insurance might not be accepted at the hospital you would prefer to go to. While insurance itself can be finicky especially in regards to reimbursement for doulas or midwifery care at home, often even paying out of pocket for these services would still be cheaper than a hospital birth with poor coverage.

A doula helps sort through the feasible options with you, helping to refer you when possible if your current provider isn’t a good fit or you had no idea there were midwives accepting clients near you.

Have your best ideas in the bath? You might enjoy laboring in water!

Part of deciding on your birth provider or location is considering how you imagine your birth to be. 

Do you want pain medication? Are you afraid of needles? 

Do you want to be able to get up and move around? Does a shower or bath sound like the perfect way to cope with the surges during labor?

Do you want privacy or do you not mind medical students/residents/interns being present for exams and the birth? 

How about being able to eat what you want or go for walks outside? 

Do you feel more comfortable at home or in a hospital?

Exploring these preferences can help narrow down what sort of provider and birth location is best for you. From there we can dive deeper into those specific options with that provider and location. 

Such as, if you want an epidural you will need to be in a hospital rather than a birth center or at home.

When would you want that epidural?

How soon or late will a hospital administer it?

Do you want to try other coping techniques first such as a shower, bouncing on a birth ball, or hands on comfort like massage to where you are feeling the most tension?

Does your birth location allow a lower dose of the epidural so you can still move your legs and potentially get up at a certain point?

If you’re going to be bed confined throughout, what positions can you try to help move the baby down or relieve any lingering pain you may have? 

It’s ok to feel overwhelmed

There are a lot of potential options to consider and choices to make. Talking it through with your doula can help the process be more manageable.

While we cannot plan everything that will happen in a birth, we can prepare and educate as best we can so you feel comfortable with the process. By knowing your choices, and options within those choices, you will be able to feel like a participant in your health care. 

You aren’t just being swept from one intervention to the next with little time to ask questions as to the reasoning behind the provider’s choice and if there are other options. 

This way you have done some research ahead of time, you’re aware of your options pending emergency complications. And even then, you will have been prepared with your options as well, such as if you need an unexpected cesarean will your partner or doula be allowed in?

Will someone be with you while they administer the epidural or spinal?

Will the doctor talk you through the procedure so you still feel a part of the birth? 

Feel Capable

A little preparation can go a long way to feeling capable of rolling with the unexpected

Unexpected surprises can happen, it does not mean you have to be blindsided. 

Often a birthing person can feel overwhelmed and like they have no control when their provider starts suggesting interventions like Pitocin or a cesarean birth. Especially if there had been little warning before being prepared for these procedures. 

Next time, I will explore the doula’s role in giving you time and space to decide so you feel “capable of anything,” during your birth. 

Until then, I wish you all the best and happy birthing! 

JB